72 hours to the new year

So soon to close the chapter on 2008.

I was pondering over some matters along the PIE today, which resulted in a much longer detour, which led to ...more pondering.

Which led me to the ultimate question : what do I really want?

On what? A couple of things, that had been bouncing in my mind for a while already. Well, actually.."a while" is an understatement of sort. Some of the issues had probably been there for the past few years, while some..more recent, and probably more pressing, especially since I had to really decide in the next few days.

As I was pondering, I came to a conclusion that I had been fighting the symptoms to the issue in question, instead of really going to the core.

Like,

Should I go to the new department? And on what terms ? -->what do I really want?

Spend money to do stuff that I want to while I still can, rather than be really a prude and save up?-->what do I really want??

Enjoy singlehood, or go out to meet more people? --> what do I really want???

When was the last time that I was really sure? I cant remember. Sometimes I just wish to bite the bullet and plunge in, but the cautious side of me had always pulled the rein in. Life is so not fun this way :(