I'm not stupid

I had it coming.

I am not as experienced as you, but that doesn't mean I am stupid. What makes me more mad was your statement that I was not cut out for this, when in the first place you hadn't gave me opportunity to learn the ropes.

This pretty much sums up what I have been feeling for the past one and a half year.

F1 Sunday

What could be more exciting than watching the first ever night race in the history of F1 Grand Prix? Like many ple (read : not high net worth - no sponsored tickets - no track side seats), but I prob had the vantage seat - in front of the TV.



Which had proved real good, if not how would I have caught Messa's disastrous moment causing him to drop from the leader of the pack to end up covering the rear? And then watched the replay of Haikonnen crashing out with just a few laps away from the finish line? I pity those who had betted based on the showing on Friday. People used to say "The ball is round", now I think that applies to the tracks as well.



I must say, the race had proved to pack more drama than the hong kong serial showing on channel 8, real time some more.



In the middle of the race, I suddenly had a feeling of deja vu - the setting was the same a few weeks back with our paddlers playing the doubles final. It's exciting to think that Singapore can stick its fingers in the international sports scenes pie finally.

Chat before the weekend

It had been a restless day.

I have a nugget of thought which has transformed to a mammoth load, that has been bouncing in my head for the past 1 week. Imagine a big boulder bouncing around in your brains- I had been rendered almost impossible to work (wasn't hard especially when you had to deal with nauseating excel spreadsheets). Finally unable to get any headway, I decided to pop into my Dy D's office for a chat. And confirmed the facts of what I had felt about my one-and-half year stint current post.

Now the ball is in my court. It is good that I have at least 2 days to think of what I really want. However, I cant shake off the images of bridges burning, and not from my end too. Gosh, I just wish that things will fall in place when that happens.

Nobody's responsible for your outcome other than yourself. I don't want to waste another one-and-half year.

First ever F1 Night Race

It's funny how that the one of the biggest race is actually starting tomorrow but the buzz doesn't seem to have taken off.

Personally the indication that the event is finally here was the flurry of activities by the other floors in my office building.Another source was of course the TV. The point finally hit home when I had to leave my car behind at Centerpoint and take the MRT to City Hall,bearing in mind that the roads are closed.

I would have expected that there would have more excitement generated, like how enterprising merchants coming up with F1 theme stuff- F1 themed cakes, F1 sales,F1 cocktails, F1 t-shirts..you get the drift.

No. Zilt. So much for the first night F1 race and the first for Singapore. Even the IMF meetings 2 years back sounded more exciting with all the news of likely protesters, all the power hustlers coming to SG.

Could it be that as a nation obssessed with only soccer and golf (try naming another sport that can possibly grip the whole nation..), F1 racing is a more foreign sport that is less easy to understand and hence, not much interest garnered from our own people. But then again, neither does Singapore is known for a big following on athletics but we all know how Liu Xiang was the hope of China.

Ok,the analogy wasn't really good. But my point is, it seems F1 Grand Prix forgot to engage the Singaporeans in the festivities. I had remembered something like a fringe carnival was promised. I had seen none,or maybe I was too far back in the kampung to hear if any has been planned.

Well, I do hope that the whole event goes smoothly. For the ticket holders in feeling justified in payiing so much for the tixs (just cross your fingers that you dont get drenched in the rain. Umbrellas wouldn't help in these tropical downpours), for the drivers and their crew. And for Singaporeans- to have lived in such close proximity to the first of such race but without enough fate to be part of it.

No chance with tickets or squeezing in with friends at their downtown office? Just imagine yourself going through the circuit :)

I need activities.

I am bored stiff with work. So my mind tends to wander to keep myself mentally occupied. Wikipedia has been a source of relief (I cant believe that I derive some joy in checking the thesarus on dictionary.com) and I make sure I bring newspaper to the office everyday
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I am looking at signing up for courses, but realised that they may just cross over Nov when I am not sure whether if I will be around for a good 3-4 weeks. If not the pilates course sounds real good and at least keep me occupied physically other than running. I need another sport, with the lull period.
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I am keeping to my financial goals, so I am keeping my shopping to a minimum. Realised that it helps to keep the wardrobe less cluttered too and make me think twice before I decide that the stuff is really something that I like and not bought on impulse (I have got enough dresses. I have got enough dresses. No I dont need to buy that dress.I have got enough dresses). I'm sure if I am kept gainfully occupied, my shopping desires will definitely drop cos I suspect the impulses are built on boredom.
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I am running out of DVDs to watch. I had found the ones borrowed by one ex, which I had refused to watched after learning that he had strayed during the period when he gotten the DVD, and stashed them somewhere. I was so desparate to find something to do that I finally watched one. I am so going to thrash them for good after I finish watching the other one. But then again, I dont want to waste my life watching DVDs after DVDs...
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I am looking for good books to read but haven't got chance to go to the nearest library, and I don't believe in buying books if I can help it. How come Novena Sq dont have something like Sunny Bookstore? I will definitely be a long time trusted customer.
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Rest can only be as sweet if one is as equally purposeful in work.

I need a change.

It's not over tonight..

Just give me one more chance to make it right


I didn't even know the title to the song. I went to youtube and search "it's not over tonight" and I found it. Amazing :D

Was playing the song when my brother walked past and said.."You got the song? THe song kept playing in my head when I was showering just now leh".

I bet it's so contagious that the chorus will keep playing in your head at least for a day after you read this entry.

Enjoy!

残暴

星光灿烂，
现在只成
回忆

乌云
刮风
狂雨

它不惜摧残，
无情,自私
狂妄,自大

我为何还稀罕

在避风港
慢慢挨过这场
无聊的暴风雨

雨过天晴后
再导航

Black Saturday

It's sad that it has to happen again.

The Black Saturday has led to many dead and injured. According to the reports, the attack was timed so that it was the most deadly, when most were breaking fast. If the attack was idealogy led, the idealogy based on a religion when this was the month to practise forebrearance, peace and empathies, I dont see how both can be linked or based on the same theology.

Just like the American financial market crunch..Singaporeans were generally nonchalant, until the truth hit home when AIG was affected. It became a real issue istead of some problems to be dealt by chaps halfway around the globe. Do we need something to happen at our doorstep before we start to sit up, and perhaps realise how vulnerable we are?

I am so darn weak...

...over only 2 bottles of victoria bitter.



I have to qualify, I wasn't drunk but I think my body was starting to protest when my lower abdomen (not my stomach strangely) started cramping up and I was breaking out in cold sweat on the way home. Could be due to the fact that :-

• I was nursing a sore throat over the past 2 days


• I was feeling a wee bit dodgy while waiting for the "auntie's" arrival


• The excel spreadsheet which I hv been working on for the past week was making me nauseated


• I havent been sleeping well for the last few days (see point i,ii and iii) and of course, exacerbated by someone's inconsiderate callings late Wed night when I was trying to sleep.

The moment I step out of the car, I felt the upsurge and threw up at the nearest grass patch. Whatever I had for dinner (or what had tasted like what I ate for dinner) came out in the mash of liquid and whatnot. Once done, I thought that was it. Then another wave came.

While facing downwards and watching whatever i merlion-ed..I could hear 2 banglas walking past and probably sniggering in their own language. All possible imagined sexual attacks flashed through my mind, having heard of what happened near my place recently. I was so ready to kick whoever take a step too near me.

I must say..it is amazing how I managed to make it back home in a super steadily manner. And spent the next half hour cradling my head until I decided that it was definitely much better to be cradling my head SHOWERED, CLEAN AND READY TO SLEEP. So despite protests from my whirling head, I dragged myself to the bathroom floor. Much better after that, I flitted to my kitchen to down 3 tabs of vit b, knowing that was the key if I I want to survive the night and wake up sane the next morning.

And truely, no hangover effect..only the sorethroat and nauseating effect from the excel spreadsheet left for me to nurse.

Damn. I liked the 虾酱鸡 and would have preferred to have it left digesting in my stomach. I hope next time I eat 虾酱鸡 it wont bring back this episode to memory.

My steps to more self discipline

Step NO 1. Sleep Early

I havent been hitting my bed anytime before 12 midnight for the longest time. THe most recent time was in Bali (where the only past-time was sleep cos horrors!There were no tv in the rooms which we were staying in and I finished the only book I brought on the first day!).

So last night I decided that enough was enough (of course, the fact that I finished watching the DVDs I borrowed.. ) and I was all ready for bed by 11pm.

And tossed and turned for a good half hour I think. The usual dream-state sleep toward waking up didn't help. But counting back, it was the first 8 hour sleep that I had for ages. I better keep it up if I want to get rid of THE dark eye circles.

Step No 2. Start Running

After the Nike Run, I decided that I need to recuperate. For a few days.

Which extended to a full 2 weeks :p

Of course, what resulted was expected, exacerbated with the recently gourging of mooncakes.

So providence provides, I grabbed the oppotunity when an email thread came from the most unexpected person to remind us that it's about time to start getting fit, and jio-ed people to go running. Today was the first session at Macritchie. We are going to do Botanic Gardens next Tues!

It's always nice to run at nice places..and of course the fact that there are people waiting for you to run together helped cos you dont want to be known as the "pilot" lor.


To Stan Chart and lean body! yay!


Step NO 3. Money-wise

I had a thought recently, and I deicded that that will be my financial goal for the next few years.

Cant remember where I read it from, but typical Taurus got bad money sense (cos they love pretty things too much!!!). But when they decide that there is something they want to get, they will work the hell towards it.

So...

Gone are online shopping and shoes (only if I'm still thinking about the stuff the next day. Hey a girl's gonna get what a girl luvs right? :p), expensive lunches (just not so frequent..special occasion still can la).

Hmm...I realise I dont have much vices money-wise. That'll do for a start :D

xxxxxxxxx

I realised I haven't been photo-blogging recently..seems like nothing interesting recently :/

“天公贴贡人”

如果天公疼傻人，那为么什么这几年走得那么忐忑....

Spring Cleaning

Was freaking bored when I finally ran out of House M.D. DVD. So finally dragged myself to my next favourite past-time - clearing up from my room.

And today my "prized items" were my uni books and notes.

I mean, ever since I graduated from uni (which was x number of years ago), I always cant bear to get rid of the books and notes. I mean I tried to sell the books but it seems that students nowadays love the smell and touch of new books than anything. Of course the fact that the uni changed the recommended book list every year didn't help. By the time I finish one year the books were deemed as redundant by the next. On the other hand, the notes were my darlings, painstakingly compiled and annotated and doodled and colored..couldn't bear to throw them away in the light of "maybe they will come in handy one day" mentality.

Yeah right. I haven't touched them since I received my convocation papers.

Anyway, I decided that today they will go.

As I was clearing the stuff out of the box, I happened to see my attachment report amongst the stash. As I was flipping through it, I was amazed at how well I wrote the paper. I was clear, concise, articulating.

I thought work is supposed to make you better, more skilled. But instead, I realised that I was becoming less sharp and possibly more dull - what has happened since I graduated? The monotony and narrow scope of work, the bitterness of office politics, and the resignation to manipulation by higher management?

I resent being so. I think come what may, it's time to rev up the engine a bit.

Missing for a week

No, my lappie hasnt gone through brain washing yet. My bro been to busy recently, esp with taking up part time studies to do his Masters.

Nonetheless, too tired during the past week to update. I need to be more discipline and start sleeping early ie not anything later than 1130pm!!!

Hope my bro has time soon to work on my laptop.

Nike+ Human Race

My sis left a message on my FB wall.

"WE BOTH CLOCKED THE SAME TIMING OF 1:04'41" for the run! :D"

Nike+ Human Race

Well..shaved 1 minute from my last 10km run.

Good.. cos I didn't train as much :p

Better thing still was that my sister was pacing me up till the last second. The feeling of your own sister crossing the gentry together with you - priceless.

Operation Resuscitation

My poor lappie is sick.

To be more specific, it is a bit ki-siao.

Due to some backing up thing I did god-knows-when, the registry is all screwed up. My picture and music files are supposedly existing in some non-existent F:

Somehow I realised something was not right sometime back, when the my adobe photoalbum's default folder to download all the newly taken photos was F:. but since I can change the directory for the download, it wasnt so much of a problem.

Until I bought a new toy and had to download the software from the internet. And it had to run from My Music folder. And since the folder was residing in a non-existent drive, the software cant run without the phamtom folder. So had to consult the resident comp surgeon (my brother) and realised that my registry is screwed up.

Got new toy but cant play. %$#%^#

Option 1 - tried to remedy with all the online help-->failed.

Option 2 - reformat--> but I accidentally threw away dell recovery disc during the last cleanup of my room.Only last sat. Shit like that happens everytime.

Option 3 - buy a new comp --> but of course. If I got $$ to burn.

Comp Surgeon tried his best with option 1. But looking at how furtile it is, he suggest to just start afresh. The lappie will have to be operated over a few days, and after that the chances of resusitate to full healthy state will depend on 天意.

Darn. My lappie has served me well for the last 3 years =~(

But anyway, no facebook, no access to MSN, no blog-surfing for the next 3 days or so...