The Mojito Life - RUM for the soul, A sprig of fresh MINT for newness, A dash of sour LIME that puckles up your face, & Sweet SUGAR to keep Life going.
Monday, November 30, 2009
The Smiths - Please Please Please Let Me Get What I Want
Good times for a change
See, the luck I've had
Can make a good man
Turn bad
So please please please
Let me, let me, let me
Let me get what I want
This time
Haven't had a dream in a long time
See, the life I've had
Can make a good man bad
So for once in my life
Let me get what I want
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Lord knows, it would be the first time
Sunday, November 29, 2009
The joy of having a good book to look forward to.
Was facing a literary drought and the latest book I bought (on impulse) lay unread for so many days no matter how many times I tried to turn the page. But the story was so slow...that I decided that I need something more ...erm..quirky.
So that day drove past the national library and decided to make an impromptu stop. The first shelf I hit was under "P"..but all the Terry Pratchett books were gone!!!! Gosh..Just when I thought Terry Pratchett is still relatively unknown in SG (never saw his books hit the top ten list here). But I know that NLB has his latest novel "Making Money"..now it between placing that book on reservation list on NLB or buying it next time I go Kino or Borders. I wonder how the audiobook sounds like though..?
But then it was easy to to go from "P" to my next hit - "R". I love the gruff like John Rebus in Ian Rankin's books. I accidently picked up one of his books (I think it will be "Mortal Causes") for a seemingly good sypnosis, and I have been going back for more. I think one of these days I will start John Rebus novels from his very first appearance in "Knots and Crosses".
I ended up with two Rankin, one Virginia Woolf, and another Scottish author. That will solve the drought for a while...and to prevent me from buying books on impulse!
(btw I wonder if Wind in the Willows will be a good book to read? Somehow the theme song from the BBC series kept coming into my head)
So that day drove past the national library and decided to make an impromptu stop. The first shelf I hit was under "P"..but all the Terry Pratchett books were gone!!!! Gosh..Just when I thought Terry Pratchett is still relatively unknown in SG (never saw his books hit the top ten list here). But I know that NLB has his latest novel "Making Money"..now it between placing that book on reservation list on NLB or buying it next time I go Kino or Borders. I wonder how the audiobook sounds like though..?
But then it was easy to to go from "P" to my next hit - "R". I love the gruff like John Rebus in Ian Rankin's books. I accidently picked up one of his books (I think it will be "Mortal Causes") for a seemingly good sypnosis, and I have been going back for more. I think one of these days I will start John Rebus novels from his very first appearance in "Knots and Crosses".
I ended up with two Rankin, one Virginia Woolf, and another Scottish author. That will solve the drought for a while...and to prevent me from buying books on impulse!
(btw I wonder if Wind in the Willows will be a good book to read? Somehow the theme song from the BBC series kept coming into my head)
Friday, November 27, 2009
榴莲小星亮相咯！（另类版）
他是一个五岁的小男孩， 因为非常爱吃榴莲， 所以他那音乐家的妈妈帮他缝制了这套“榴莲装”， 也顺便怀念怀念她每每演奏的场地 - 榴莲...哦不..滨海音乐艺术中心。所以他的朋友们也就顺便昵称他为 "stinky but cute 榴莲头”。"Stinky but cute?" 这句话让他音乐家的妈妈好忧心 - 明明是好有艺术的东西， 为什么讲成 stinky 呢？所以她索性就跟小星的爸爸， 带小星优游全世界去演奏。 等他十八岁的时候再决定要不要让他回国服兵役， 还是留在国外继续发展， 就别牺牲那宝贵的两年了。当然， 身上流着新加坡人的血统， 从小就体现出新加坡的精神 -“血拼” 是一个少不了的生活技能。而他也认同不分种族的概念。所以他最近在上海认识了一个好朋友， 蓝肤色绝对不是个问题。
但他们也同感深受 （还是同病相怜？），被人误会的感觉 （"为什么他长得像避孕套...")。
（ok..我好无聊。 但我今早看到straits times wrote "liu lian xiao xing"..I thought it was a dead ringer for "crayon shin chan". 人有蜡笔小新 我们有榴莲小星！)
榴莲小星亮相咯！
榴莲成为2010年上海世界博览会新加坡馆吉祥物，卫生部长许文远在上海出席世界博览会新加坡馆吉祥物揭晓仪式，与吉祥物“榴莲小星”（中）、上海世界博览会吉祥物“海宝”在一起留影。（图／中新社）上海世博会新加坡馆结构封顶: "距离明年5月的上海世界博览会只有156天，新加坡馆昨天在上海浦东香格里拉酒店举行结构封顶仪式"
2010年世博会时间: 2010年 5月 1日 – 10月 30日
地点: 中国上海（浦东）
何为世界博览会?
世界博览会是一个大型的全球非商业展览会。它的宗旨是促进思想的交流和世界经济、文化和科技的发展，使各国和地区有机会宣传展示他们的成就，同时改善国际关系。 迄今为止，已经有 180多个国家地区和 34个国际组织确定参加 2010年世博会，在为期 6个多月的时间内，预计会吸引 7000万参观者。
世界博览会是一个大型的全球非商业展览会。它的宗旨是促进思想的交流和世界经济、文化和科技的发展，使各国和地区有机会宣传展示他们的成就，同时改善国际关系。 迄今为止，已经有 180多个国家地区和 34个国际组织确定参加 2010年世博会，在为期 6个多月的时间内，预计会吸引 7000万参观者。
I cant help but link this back to the current ruckus on learning Chinese.
Tuesday, November 24, 2009
The Boohoo on Chinese Learning
Things that tell you that this is it..
When you type a piece of work for one and a half hour. Then you went to open a word doc to check on some reference for about a minute. You return to the monitor bar to look for the first document. And realise it wasn't there And you hadn't saved it at any juncture.
wtf..
-----------------
Grouses aside.
Yesterday I was working on another piece on work, and I was stuck for a while. I was trying to say - In addition to whatever was presented during the last meeting, we've got new stuff tht we got to add in and these are the new stuff blahblahblahblah.....
The problem is of course I cant really put that in...and there must a word that means everything I wanted to say in all that. In the end, the thesarus was my saviour and I settled for "addendum". I already was sqeezing my brains out to try not to use repeat the words used in the doc and that was when I wish my vocabulary set is more formidable. When I was driving home (yes I think most of the time when I was driving) I was still pondering over words like "adjunct", thinking that one can only get to learn to use those words if he ever devour the dictionary as a whole - go through all the words in the dictionary and drilling them into the the brain for storage, to be pulled out when the need arise.
I recall my vocabulary set were first nurtured through all the list of words we were forced to study for spelling tests, got stretched a bit more during the Lit classes in secondary school, got nudged forward by GP..I thought my vocab will be enough for reading frivalous fictions, but eventually nothing would beat having to churn out 20 over pieces of job descriptions within 1 month for project at work. My vocabulary jumped leaps and bounds with words like "metamophosis", "convoluted", "exacerbated"...sometimes I wish I had learnt and spell all these words when I was younger.
Hmm..hey..that seemed to be what all the boohoos were about on MM's apology on Mandarin, on his policy of adopting a rote-learning process for 听写，默写. With the influx of writers to the forum, one cant help but think that Singaporean Chinese were an oppressed lots, forced to go through communist styled drill-schooling to learn the language they were imposed on just cos their forefathers came from China. Like a curse.
OK, I cannot comprehend what is so different was that from the spelling we had to do when were in primary school, and how come nobody complained about spelling test? I remember rote learning all the letters of the words in the spelling list, not knowing what the words mean sometimes -at least there is 造句in Chinese class then. And was English class interesting last time?? Dont think so. We were still required to read sentence by sentence in class, do comprehsion by picking out the line to copy from the paragraphs, and hand in handwork in compositions like it's another pain in the ass.
It could be easier for me cos I grew up with 联合早报. But having come from a Mandarin speaking family with non-too educated parents, English should have been a struggle for me, but it wasn't. Of course, I cant hold a proper conversation in English for nuts until I was in JC, though I did written English sufficiently well to make it all the way. Of course it became easier along the way cos English became the main medium for school work and projects, but still I would say that looking at my background, since I know zilt english before I started school, I would have find it so hard to learn in school where everthing is in English, I should have refused to study cos I dont understand anything and I should have dropped out of school by primary 1.
What if the subject, instead of Chinese, had been something like Maths? Some people simply cant understand the concepts, even though it's laid out in plain English, and struggle to keep up with the advancing curriculum. What to do? Remember all the workings by heart, even if you dont understand the rationale behind it . Trust me, it can be done. I have done that for at least the last 4 years of my institutional schooling, without understand how the hell is integration is ever going to useful in reality. My maths teachers weren't of much help, but writing formulas and workings on and on. I was probably scarred for life when I had to go to a teacher when one of my homework had a few wrong calculations (the rote learning didn't work, the formular was all screwed up). He went through once with me, and when I told him that I still didn;t understand, he went,"How come so easy you still don't understand?".
If I had a choice, I would have dropped Maths if I could. But of course I couldn't. In the end? I survived. If I dont remember wrongly, my AO Maths was a respectable B3. All rote-learning to make sure I can have a chance of that ticket to go to university.
Rote learning for Chinese seems to be the bane for Chinese class. I still remember the time when we had to memorise the paragraphs and then try to reporduce everything in 听写默写. No difference from spelling. But then Chinese is a language that is so endowed with pictorial meanings - 单手旁，船字旁，草字头etc..默写basically drills your mind in memorising the lines, getting used to the phrasing and structure in the process. Without these two, how long of creative learning of deciphering pop song lyrics, going through newspaper articles will it take for kids to be able to articulate his thoughts in proper structured Chinese in writing?
Anyhow, I just think it's not fair to only blame the way how Chinese was taught and that how the teacher made it boring that you are hampered and scarred for life. Accept the fact that you were simply not proficient to begin with, that the child you were then refused to learn and you blame the teacher for your inability to ever learn that subject.
Of course creative learning is still way more fun that rote-learning, But if the need calls for it, there still nothing wrong with 听写默写。
When you type a piece of work for one and a half hour. Then you went to open a word doc to check on some reference for about a minute. You return to the monitor bar to look for the first document. And realise it wasn't there And you hadn't saved it at any juncture.
wtf..
-----------------
Grouses aside.
Yesterday I was working on another piece on work, and I was stuck for a while. I was trying to say - In addition to whatever was presented during the last meeting, we've got new stuff tht we got to add in and these are the new stuff blahblahblahblah.....
The problem is of course I cant really put that in...and there must a word that means everything I wanted to say in all that. In the end, the thesarus was my saviour and I settled for "addendum". I already was sqeezing my brains out to try not to use repeat the words used in the doc and that was when I wish my vocabulary set is more formidable. When I was driving home (yes I think most of the time when I was driving) I was still pondering over words like "adjunct", thinking that one can only get to learn to use those words if he ever devour the dictionary as a whole - go through all the words in the dictionary and drilling them into the the brain for storage, to be pulled out when the need arise.
I recall my vocabulary set were first nurtured through all the list of words we were forced to study for spelling tests, got stretched a bit more during the Lit classes in secondary school, got nudged forward by GP..I thought my vocab will be enough for reading frivalous fictions, but eventually nothing would beat having to churn out 20 over pieces of job descriptions within 1 month for project at work. My vocabulary jumped leaps and bounds with words like "metamophosis", "convoluted", "exacerbated"...sometimes I wish I had learnt and spell all these words when I was younger.
Hmm..hey..that seemed to be what all the boohoos were about on MM's apology on Mandarin, on his policy of adopting a rote-learning process for 听写，默写. With the influx of writers to the forum, one cant help but think that Singaporean Chinese were an oppressed lots, forced to go through communist styled drill-schooling to learn the language they were imposed on just cos their forefathers came from China. Like a curse.
OK, I cannot comprehend what is so different was that from the spelling we had to do when were in primary school, and how come nobody complained about spelling test? I remember rote learning all the letters of the words in the spelling list, not knowing what the words mean sometimes -at least there is 造句in Chinese class then. And was English class interesting last time?? Dont think so. We were still required to read sentence by sentence in class, do comprehsion by picking out the line to copy from the paragraphs, and hand in handwork in compositions like it's another pain in the ass.
It could be easier for me cos I grew up with 联合早报. But having come from a Mandarin speaking family with non-too educated parents, English should have been a struggle for me, but it wasn't. Of course, I cant hold a proper conversation in English for nuts until I was in JC, though I did written English sufficiently well to make it all the way. Of course it became easier along the way cos English became the main medium for school work and projects, but still I would say that looking at my background, since I know zilt english before I started school, I would have find it so hard to learn in school where everthing is in English, I should have refused to study cos I dont understand anything and I should have dropped out of school by primary 1.
What if the subject, instead of Chinese, had been something like Maths? Some people simply cant understand the concepts, even though it's laid out in plain English, and struggle to keep up with the advancing curriculum. What to do? Remember all the workings by heart, even if you dont understand the rationale behind it . Trust me, it can be done. I have done that for at least the last 4 years of my institutional schooling, without understand how the hell is integration is ever going to useful in reality. My maths teachers weren't of much help, but writing formulas and workings on and on. I was probably scarred for life when I had to go to a teacher when one of my homework had a few wrong calculations (the rote learning didn't work, the formular was all screwed up). He went through once with me, and when I told him that I still didn;t understand, he went,"How come so easy you still don't understand?".
If I had a choice, I would have dropped Maths if I could. But of course I couldn't. In the end? I survived. If I dont remember wrongly, my AO Maths was a respectable B3. All rote-learning to make sure I can have a chance of that ticket to go to university.
Rote learning for Chinese seems to be the bane for Chinese class. I still remember the time when we had to memorise the paragraphs and then try to reporduce everything in 听写默写. No difference from spelling. But then Chinese is a language that is so endowed with pictorial meanings - 单手旁，船字旁，草字头etc..默写basically drills your mind in memorising the lines, getting used to the phrasing and structure in the process. Without these two, how long of creative learning of deciphering pop song lyrics, going through newspaper articles will it take for kids to be able to articulate his thoughts in proper structured Chinese in writing?
Anyhow, I just think it's not fair to only blame the way how Chinese was taught and that how the teacher made it boring that you are hampered and scarred for life. Accept the fact that you were simply not proficient to begin with, that the child you were then refused to learn and you blame the teacher for your inability to ever learn that subject.
Of course creative learning is still way more fun that rote-learning, But if the need calls for it, there still nothing wrong with 听写默写。
Sunday, November 22, 2009
A tough balance
Friday night was good (other than the fact that I left office earlier then usual compared to other days of the week. The usual was 10pm btw). We had a one year anniversary gathering for our HTAC course (woohoo!~ gosh..it's one year already?) al fresco along the Singapore River. And it sorta marked 1 year from the point when I was planning to take a different route.
One year on, I was whining over some beer beside the River, about how last minute and fickle things were at work. Much later that evening, somehow someone somewhen dropped a one-liner - 忙好过“pah bang" (beat mosquitos)
Well..that kinda put stuff into perspective once again for me. 忙是好事，只要不是瞎忙。Don't tell me that I had become such a softie after the 2 years of lousy postings that I have practically stagnated in terms of career development (but I have to qualify, I met great colleauges who become friends during that 2 years. It's the work that sucked), that I start to break under pressure of tight deadline.
But then again, I can feel my work ethos taking on a different slant - 生命有了什么才充实？绝对不是工作。 Which explain probably why I resent it when my free time is burnt..especially when work to be delegated could have been structured better.
It's a tough balance. Whereas I could sacrifice sleep and play for work before, I am definitely less reluctant now. However so, the workaholic cow in my starsign refuse to be tagged to such shoddy behaviour of not being able to meet deadline.
So after squeezing my brain dry for a report, its time to put on a CD (the mood calls for some Joanna Wang), and go read some books involving a character call Peter and his friends (that I found in some picturesque Cotswold Village. My brain calls for something plain, simple and old school).
One year on, I was whining over some beer beside the River, about how last minute and fickle things were at work. Much later that evening, somehow someone somewhen dropped a one-liner - 忙好过“pah bang" (beat mosquitos)
Well..that kinda put stuff into perspective once again for me. 忙是好事，只要不是瞎忙。Don't tell me that I had become such a softie after the 2 years of lousy postings that I have practically stagnated in terms of career development (but I have to qualify, I met great colleauges who become friends during that 2 years. It's the work that sucked), that I start to break under pressure of tight deadline.
But then again, I can feel my work ethos taking on a different slant - 生命有了什么才充实？绝对不是工作。 Which explain probably why I resent it when my free time is burnt..especially when work to be delegated could have been structured better.
It's a tough balance. Whereas I could sacrifice sleep and play for work before, I am definitely less reluctant now. However so, the workaholic cow in my starsign refuse to be tagged to such shoddy behaviour of not being able to meet deadline.
So after squeezing my brain dry for a report, its time to put on a CD (the mood calls for some Joanna Wang), and go read some books involving a character call Peter and his friends (that I found in some picturesque Cotswold Village. My brain calls for something plain, simple and old school).
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
What occupied my thots as I was driving home from work at 1030pm
ineedagoodbook
ineedamassage
ineedtorun
ineedtogetsomesun
ineedanothergoodsong
ineedtogoshopping
ineedtogogetaway
ineedsomeinspiration
ineedanothergoodcd
ineedtowashmycar
ineedthingstostopshiftingsomuch
ineedabreak
ineedtostaypositive
ineedthatsomedivineintervention
ineedbothnumbskullstocomearound
ineedadrink
ineedsomedinner
ineedtovent
ineedtostopgoinghomesolate
ineedtosomebkktherapy
ineedtocatchthatshow
ineedalaptop
ineedanewphone
ineedsomeethinginteresting
ineedamiracle
.
.
.
.
NEED!!!!
ineedamassage
ineedtorun
ineedtogetsomesun
ineedanothergoodsong
ineedtogoshopping
ineedtogogetaway
ineedsomeinspiration
ineedanothergoodcd
ineedtowashmycar
ineedthingstostopshiftingsomuch
ineedabreak
ineedtostaypositive
ineedthatsomedivineintervention
ineedbothnumbskullstocomearound
ineedadrink
ineedsomedinner
ineedtovent
ineedtostopgoinghomesolate
ineedtosomebkktherapy
ineedtocatchthatshow
ineedalaptop
ineedanewphone
ineedsomeethinginteresting
ineedamiracle
.
.
.
.
NEED!!!!
Google opens new chapter as millions of books go into its online library - Times Online
Google opens new chapter as millions of books go into its online library - Times Online
My first thought was, "oh no..will I ever be able to bring a Kindle to the beach?"
To me, reading seems to be a whole experience - from the cover, the feel of the book in your hand, to the touch of flipping the pages.
Gone will be the days of browsing books by the look of how the spine of THE BOOK stands out amongst rows and shelves of them, all fighting for to catch your eye, to entice you to pick them up with the promise of an exciting adventure.
Of course, it'll then be books on demand (Woot!~). But I know I would surely miss having to hold a book physically in my hand should that day ever come.
My first thought was, "oh no..will I ever be able to bring a Kindle to the beach?"
To me, reading seems to be a whole experience - from the cover, the feel of the book in your hand, to the touch of flipping the pages.
Gone will be the days of browsing books by the look of how the spine of THE BOOK stands out amongst rows and shelves of them, all fighting for to catch your eye, to entice you to pick them up with the promise of an exciting adventure.
Of course, it'll then be books on demand (Woot!~). But I know I would surely miss having to hold a book physically in my hand should that day ever come.
Monday, November 16, 2009
When will I ever learn..
Blaze sparked to an inferno;
the ground cowers and shakes;
its sulphuric bowels,
spits out the devil and its kinds
Throwing smokes and fire,
working in concerto,
quickening the blood pulse,
blinding the mind.
Daggers and forked tongues,
slashing and cajoling.
Wielding their wiles,
the evils having a whale of a time.
But oh!
When the breath
dropped to an even pace,
I mourn the irrevisible of words;
the devil nowhere but in the depth of my own eyes.
My temper will be the death of me yet.
the ground cowers and shakes;
its sulphuric bowels,
spits out the devil and its kinds
Throwing smokes and fire,
working in concerto,
quickening the blood pulse,
blinding the mind.
Daggers and forked tongues,
slashing and cajoling.
Wielding their wiles,
the evils having a whale of a time.
But oh!
When the breath
dropped to an even pace,
I mourn the irrevisible of words;
the devil nowhere but in the depth of my own eyes.
My temper will be the death of me yet.
Saturday, November 14, 2009
若你碰到他
I cant believe my luck. I finally lay my hands on 蔡建雅 [若你 碰到他] CD in a totally random event. And after cheapo me ripped the songs, I immediately regretted. Shucks.
I should have bought the CD. The whole album is better than I expcted.
But..I ripped the songs already, why would I need the CD for?
But..I really like the songs in CD!
So..??! You got the songs already mah.
Huh...but I really feel like buying the CD!
Totally irrational consumerism behaviour to satisfy the impulse of owning something. Must be submlimal influence from working next to a radio for 12 hours straight.
And yes, if I see this CD I will buy！
(gosh his looks were quite off during 星光大道. What's with the hair?? But I think his rendition of the song was actually quite good too during that PK segment. This will probably be the next hottest k song）
I should have bought the CD. The whole album is better than I expcted.
But..I ripped the songs already, why would I need the CD for?
But..I really like the songs in CD!
So..??! You got the songs already mah.
Huh...but I really feel like buying the CD!
Totally irrational consumerism behaviour to satisfy the impulse of owning something. Must be submlimal influence from working next to a radio for 12 hours straight.
And yes, if I see this CD I will buy！
(gosh his looks were quite off during 星光大道. What's with the hair?? But I think his rendition of the song was actually quite good too during that PK segment. This will probably be the next hottest k song）
Friday, November 13, 2009
Wednesday, November 11, 2009
Sesame Street is 40!
Sesame Street had to be the coolest kid show around. I still remember every sat morning is reserved as sesame street day and I always run to the tv in time to catch the retro-looking-kids-with-a-super-big-dog running around NYC opening credit.
Over the radio today - once in the morning when Idrove to work, and again at night when I drove home, the DJs were receving smses over air from people out there on who is their favourite Sesame Street character.
(anyway side tracking a bit, I wonder what is the age group spectrum of the people who sms in to the radio station. Do kids nowadays watch Sesame Street? Would the term "sesame street kid" only stick for a certain strata of age group??)
And I wonder why so many people like Elmo?? OKok...maybe it cos Elmo didn't exist when I first started watching Sesame Street, but there's so many other one-of-a-kind muppets around! ?
And I wonder why so many people like Elmo?? OKok...maybe it cos Elmo didn't exist when I first started watching Sesame Street, but there's so many other one-of-a-kind muppets around! ?
Like the cant be bothered gruffy Oscar who lives in a wondeful trash can that can turn up a lot of cool stuff.
And his friend the Worm.
The Honkers!(Dont bruff..I am sure you pretended you were a honker at least once when you were watching Sesame Street last time..)
"It's.............Guy Smiley!""Thank you! Thank you!"
I just had to google for "Super Grover".
Hapless Gonzo. I always wonder what kind of animal is he suposed to be.
I cant find the picture of him in his chair, the one with the lightning and thunder in the background.
Animal!
And of course, the famous (so gayish) couple - "Bernie".(gosh...2 men staying together, playing with a rubber duckie..Check out that picture in the background)
Of course, there are the others like Big Bird, Snuffy, Kermit & Piggy ( I associate them more with Muppets than Sesame Street though..but of course they are the same thing.)
This was the cast that I grew up watching. I still remember there was this lady who hand-signs. See that big dog at the back? That's the dog I was talking about at the start. This pic sure is nostalgic.
Hmm..I wonder if anybody can remember Electric Company.. 
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
抛物线
Never really like Tanya Chua - I always have this impression that she is the bossy and 霸道type. But then her songs are just so melacholic that they feel like the balm for your soul when you are tired and weary. From 无底洞，双栖动物，到Hello and Goodbye 的达尔文．．．．
但此歌类不宜多听， 会越听越伤感。
I wonder when the 10 bucks China-parallel-import CD is coming..!!!
但此歌类不宜多听， 会越听越伤感。
I wonder when the 10 bucks China-parallel-import CD is coming..!!!
Sunday, November 8, 2009
Oh! That pain in the head
I cant start describing this headache and dizziness spell that I have been having since Monday. Yeah. THAT LOUSY MONDAY.
The degree of ache is not to the extent decapacitating - I can still go about doing my normal stuff, even survived hockey training (though I thought I would more likely die from muscle pull than anything) and a 45 mins run today. But it hurts when I try to concentrate, like when driving, like when trying to 'guard' my down-kah during MJ, like when I try not to swoon (not from the sight of hunk. That leads to my next point.)
Of course, then it's the dizziness. I sometimes wonder if the dizziness is caused by the headache, or vice versa. It seemed that when the headache is getting worse, the degree of swooning also went up. And the same otherwise, depends on which one I noticed first.
I also realise that it's tiring trying to counter dizziness. Determined not to be put down by a neither here -nor-there ailment, I was at the beach today with mum, sister and dog. I can feel the dizziness here and there, and especially at that point in time when I missed one exit after another during the roundabout (shit, I used to have impeccable sense of direction). By the time I got home I was so tired that I just laid down in the living room and snoozed for half and hour.
What if they become a permanent fixture. That thought had been popping up..too often, especially after every time when I find myself dropping stuff, having that split second delay in reacting, or even like now, having that irritating pain in the head and wishing that my head will stop swirling.
That's the reason why I went for hockey training, went running, went to the beach..Sometimes you take the simplest things for granted, until they are not there anymore.
Like another day of no headache.
The degree of ache is not to the extent decapacitating - I can still go about doing my normal stuff, even survived hockey training (though I thought I would more likely die from muscle pull than anything) and a 45 mins run today. But it hurts when I try to concentrate, like when driving, like when trying to 'guard' my down-kah during MJ, like when I try not to swoon (not from the sight of hunk. That leads to my next point.)
Of course, then it's the dizziness. I sometimes wonder if the dizziness is caused by the headache, or vice versa. It seemed that when the headache is getting worse, the degree of swooning also went up. And the same otherwise, depends on which one I noticed first.
I also realise that it's tiring trying to counter dizziness. Determined not to be put down by a neither here -nor-there ailment, I was at the beach today with mum, sister and dog. I can feel the dizziness here and there, and especially at that point in time when I missed one exit after another during the roundabout (shit, I used to have impeccable sense of direction). By the time I got home I was so tired that I just laid down in the living room and snoozed for half and hour.
What if they become a permanent fixture. That thought had been popping up..too often, especially after every time when I find myself dropping stuff, having that split second delay in reacting, or even like now, having that irritating pain in the head and wishing that my head will stop swirling.
That's the reason why I went for hockey training, went running, went to the beach..Sometimes you take the simplest things for granted, until they are not there anymore.
Like another day of no headache.
Wednesday, November 4, 2009
Lousy Wednesday
I hate it when I don't voice out all my thoughts, further hampered by a semi-imparing dizziness, and find myself backing into a corner. And I find that I end up saying or doing things that I was unwilling to in the first place, I get really upset why I didn't say how I really feel in the first instance.
I hate it when I have to critic myself. I mean I do, and even doing it every now and then these few days (should I have done this? could I have avoided this?). But when it had felt like writing my own after action report, I realised then why we always have a 3rd party to come in as recorder to write all those reports - only then can the 3rd party be truly devoid of subjectivity, without any emotional attachments.
I hate it when I have to pass judgement, when I am still so emotionally charged. It tends to drive me off the edge and I usually retort back in the worst possible manner, which I always regret once the words leave my mouth.
Most of all, I hate it when I feel that I have to accountable, but I can't account for anything. That is the worst feeling that one can ever get.
I know I will see all these objectively one day. But sorry, not now. This may just be the lowest point for me yet.
I hate it when I have to critic myself. I mean I do, and even doing it every now and then these few days (should I have done this? could I have avoided this?). But when it had felt like writing my own after action report, I realised then why we always have a 3rd party to come in as recorder to write all those reports - only then can the 3rd party be truly devoid of subjectivity, without any emotional attachments.
I hate it when I have to pass judgement, when I am still so emotionally charged. It tends to drive me off the edge and I usually retort back in the worst possible manner, which I always regret once the words leave my mouth.
Most of all, I hate it when I feel that I have to accountable, but I can't account for anything. That is the worst feeling that one can ever get.
I know I will see all these objectively one day. But sorry, not now. This may just be the lowest point for me yet.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Lousy Monday
I took Monday off, thinking that I'll get plenty of time to do my dive map, clean up my room, bring the dog out, go for a jog..
Instead I was in a miserable chamber. And 1K poorer. And didn't get to do any of the above. And still doesn't solve my dizzines.
Dammit.
Instead I was in a miserable chamber. And 1K poorer. And didn't get to do any of the above. And still doesn't solve my dizzines.
Dammit.
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