Not so "happily-ever-after" afterall

Met a long time friend for dinner tonight. It was one of those cases where we were all caught up with our own lives, and most of the time, even when we meet up, it would be with everybody else. We had not talked like how we did..like never.

For one, I almost wanted to stuff the pork knuckle down my throat for not knowing about the problem she had with her husband for the past year, even if we had met each other for group gatherings and stuff a few times within the same period.

We talked about things that happened in our lives, and the conversation drifted to how couples around her (there weren't a lot of married people around me I realised) were having different kinds of problems. By the end of the conversation, I was kinda relieved that I was single.

I mean, when two persons get together, to me, it seems like it is to be forever. But reality shows that things are not all that rosy for a lot of married people out there. Of course, personally I heard of a case whereby the couple led separately sex lives (yes) and they are putting up the married front just for the kid. But after hearing some of the stories my friend shared and others which I came across, I began to ponder why people get married in the first place. Of course, some weren't that bad - secretly hating the in-laws, another one continued to put up at her mum's place while the husband stays in the HDB flat they bought together, but there were some that really brought the bile up, like how someone's father brought his mistress home.

I wonder if I am too old fashioned, to still believe in the sanctity of marriage when all these things are happening nowadays. Without sounding too mush, that two persons can meet in mind and thoughts before they decide to spend their lives together. So what happens to trust? And the promises, vows made..? Maybe, an ever-after marriage is becoming a rarity rather than the norm.

In my friend's case, it had been just that even though they have the common vision of spending their lives together, their approach and priorities were all different, and that problem had tangled itself up as time went by. Not that they don't love each other - my friend had said that she still see the husband as a life partner, just that they need that extra luck to go around to solve the issues haggling them. Though my first thought was, why hadn't all these issues been thrashed out before they got married, but I understand, two persons can never be the same, and it's only though real communications that problems get solved. Sometimes, real communication hurts, and it's only human nature to try to avoid them.

It's not easy, and I pray that my friend's problem can get some resolution..My tummy is feeling flu-ey..think my body reacting badly to this reality check.