"You will understand when you get older.."

When I was younger, I thought that people in their 30s will know. That's from looking at my parents, aunties, uncles, teachers..whoever was in that authoritative position who told me to do this - do that - don't do this - don't do that.

Know what? Just "KNOW". Know what they are doing, where they are going, what they are going to do.

“你大了就会知道 ／ 了解.."

And I thought I looked forward to that sort of "enlightenment", after the angsty teenage rebellion, just-do-it headstrong twentys phases. I thought 30s would be the time when I can sort of take a zen-like approach to 人间琐事, and save the sweat on small stuffs。

Now that I am here, I do wonder sometimes at how every thing remain so muddled and puzzling. And sometimes just as angsty and headstrong.

I wonder if this will going to be the same at every life stages. 还是我慧根还没开窍？

(btw I realise that my English AND Chinese are getting worse..I cant compose my thoughts properly in one writing..or maybe I am just tired.

累字怎么写 － 睁着眼睛说梦话得写。)