Sunday at Bedok Reservoir

"Want to go Bedok Resevoir later. Girl is having her dragonboat tournament, can go pick her up and after that we can go for dinner", my mum asked.

I raised my eyebrows. Bedok?? That is way across the island. And even though it's less than an hour's drive, it's still far by Singapore standard (yeah. When your country is small, you can never fathom how anybody can commute an hour and a half EVERYDAY).

But I really want to run. First to lose weight (don't even want to talk about it. Sulk), second to try my new toy.

The Sony W202. Hey it's not a frivolous buy..I have been fighting the urge to grab it when I first saw it on someone last November. Finally something that you can wear to run without fumbling with wires!

Ok, so it was bundling the dog, the mum and driving across the island..on none other than the Pan Island Expressway (pun totally intended) behind slowly driving cars who thinks that everything should be a notch slower on Sundays.

Too bad no one told me that parking space is so limited for that tiny carpark for the resevoir. I gave up after 20 mins and nearly becoming one carpark rage monster, dropped mum and dog at the front of the reservoir park and turned out of the carpark to look for somewhere else to park. Lucky thing, there was a small plot of dirt patch across the road and after doing a quick analysis of the likelihood of being wheel clamped or summoned, dirt patch it was and the Sunday was good again.

Found mum and dog near the entrance, talking to some girls who were playing with the dog. We walked off after I reached her, and my mum said, "Dunno whether if Girl's team is still rowing"

"Aren't those girls from her team? I thought you knew them?"

"No la. They were just playing with the dog"

=.="

(and it was during dinner that my mum told me that 2 guys after workout were also playing with the dog while waiting for me. Darn. My mum should be the one parking the car)

So I set off my run and mum went off to look for my sis. 4.8km of gravel, the sun was shining, and I've got music to run to :D

25 mins later, I hit where the dragon-boaters set up camp, and found mum with dog. While catching my breath, 2 boys about 7 years old walked past.

"He's so fluffy." "(To dog) Say hello.."

"What's his name?" "He's call Gino. G-I-N-O"

"How much he cost?" "I think about $800"

And one of the boys made a face. I wonder why that made me want to smile, his parents probably thought him the dollar and cents pretty early in life but his reaction is so cute that I just feel like pinching his face.

When we found my sis, her team just finished the last race. And the dog was accosted, as usual.

He's a happy dog for a good run-a-about. My mum is a happy woman for the chance to show off her dog. And I am happy, for at least being out on a Sunday.

Wish for more of such Sundays.

Song of Canvas

Nobody goes to war
To return solitary
I shall wait for you
Chanson de toile

I weave songs
In the evening and rising
One point for each canvas
Chanson de toile

So far from your sky
So far from my call
Do you hear my heart
Do you hear my passion

I weave songs
In the evening and rising
One point for each canvas
Chanson de toile

梁静如

好久没听梁静如的歌了。最近的新歌，都不是特别的注意。可能还是喜欢她以前的苦情歌。可能因为要结婚了，歌路就逐渐更轻快？

也好久没 k－歌了。

好久没做什么了。 哀啊！

It is a safe game..usually.

Friendly today. With the league starting in 2 weeks' time better turn up and do a few runs to find out how much tackles it take to wind me out (as it turns out..not a lot).

But anyway it was quite a good game, guess the team just need more time to gel. This year is a bit of a mish mash since we have a few "new" players - we have the new-old ones who I have been playing together since so many years ago in another capacity, the old-new who have been with the team with the Under 21 side, and the new-new, basically people I have never played with ever.

Only thing is...I better start thinking of how to avoid getting carded this year..not with the kind of irritating @&*^&$# ang mohs opponent who thinks it's a free for all game. Ok, I don't want to whine..but now there's a nasty bruise on my palm and like a mirror image, on the back on my hand from that bloody f&%$ing tackle when that bloody ang... player came in with her stick when I clearly got the ball.

If I hadn't been so low energy, hell know no fury like an angry woman with a stick. .

Hockey can be such a bitchy games at times.

Walk on the Wild Side

This song is so decadent and depressing, totally befitting s a low-energy Sunday.

Childlike vs Childish

I remember that was this occasion at a friend's place. Another friend was recounting her impression of her future (or should it be current? anyway it's complicated) boss who "has an idealistic childlike thinking" on how a corporation should reorganise when someone commented,"You sounded like you got a crush on him lor..(it could have been) childish say like childlike". And we all had a good laugh over that when my friend was stumped for words for a while..

Childlike. Childish.

There seems to be a fine line distinguishing both. Childlike connote a wide-eye innocence, with an idealistic view of the world, seeing everything with a new perspective and enthusiasm..while childish? Unreasonable tantrum, irrational and baseless tantrum and behaviour come to mind. You know..sometimes when a group of kids play together, there may be just one kid that just super irritates you even though you know that he/she is just a kid, and you wonder if it is genetics or the parents' work.

Anyway, the comment at my friend's place surfaced after I encountered something today. Or rather, I heard an episode which totally irks me, knowing the character involved and understand possibly his rationale, motivation and the irritating glee which he must have felt after he got what he wanted.

But knowing this person, I wonder if I should term his behaviour childish or childlike.

On normal days, he is someone who probably has an idealistic approach on how thing is, even though we around him will sometimes roll our eyes in exasperation at how he arrive at his conclusion. Ok, maybe only me who thinks that this world is imperfect, with many shades and nuances of grey. Discussion was always a painful affair when he would argue that everything should be of an ideal way, which more often than not..would be his way. Cos the other ways are just not ..ideal. But usually, he is someone who I would compartmentalise as "harmless". Childlike thinking, I thought.

But recently, I think his behaviour is childish, which as dictionary defines, behaviour that befits a child but if any child behaves that way I would have called him a spoilt brat.

The way he complains how things are done, how he had been mistreated and judged unfairly, how he wanted to be sure that he's better than the rest, how he refuse to share the shitty work, just cos..sorry, why should he be faulted for everybody else's lack of ability to catch up. In the end, he probably didn't realise that he bad-mouthed the same people who pulled him up. Different matter altogether, he would say. I say it's totally bad ethics.

I wonder why my bile rose when I heard what happened a few days ago. Funny thing is, it doesn't change anything now. The only plausible reason is probably that his mentality contradicts all the my beliefs - no one exist as an island, and when the person next to you need some help, why not when you have the capacity. And if you are really someone with the ability, you might as well put it to good use rather than whine and grumble when they don't happen the way you want it. And for freaking sake, stop being so concerned about being where you stand in the cohort and start helping out!

It seemed to be mean to label anybody as childish, when it probably is just how he is wired. I wish I had the nonchalance to just diss it off as another of his antics, but nevertheless..irksome and getting on my (very strained) nerves, which right now feels like nails scratching across the blackboard. Ack.

Childish. But what the heck. It's his life.

(This seemed to be a post to rant. In fact..it is. Need to release some steam. Anyway more on "childlike" next time..another thought been bouncing around recently...hmmm)

"You will understand when you get older.."

When I was younger, I thought that people in their 30s will know. That's from looking at my parents, aunties, uncles, teachers..whoever was in that authoritative position who told me to do this - do that - don't do this - don't do that.

Know what? Just "KNOW". Know what they are doing, where they are going, what they are going to do.

“你大了就会知道 ／ 了解.."

And I thought I looked forward to that sort of "enlightenment", after the angsty teenage rebellion, just-do-it headstrong twentys phases. I thought 30s would be the time when I can sort of take a zen-like approach to 人间琐事, and save the sweat on small stuffs。

Now that I am here, I do wonder sometimes at how every thing remain so muddled and puzzling. And sometimes just as angsty and headstrong.

I wonder if this will going to be the same at every life stages. 还是我慧根还没开窍？

(btw I realise that my English AND Chinese are getting worse..I cant compose my thoughts properly in one writing..or maybe I am just tired.

累字怎么写 － 睁着眼睛说梦话得写。)

1 more month!

WOOHOO~!! :D

萧敬腾演唱会

萧敬腾演唱会太棒了！

（以上是在网上萧歌迷为演唱会拍到而组成的照片）

因为其实也只是一时兴起， 如果没人回应我fb 的留言，我也不会太认真的想去。 多亏阿秋那时积极的去强抢票，昨天的坐位实在太好了 － 为什么没带相机？？？

除了我觉得应该把造型师炒了（以上照片因该看的到一套让人摸不着头脑的“沙发”， 和 “苞菜” 装， 唱到一半，他还得把“苞菜”拌开来面对观众），萧敬腾的磁性歌声是实实在在，名副其实的rocker。台风未免僵硬了点， 但就完完全全呈现 出 ”这就是萧敬腾”的感觉。尤其是那段再他酒店阳台往着havelock road 尝试练习在台上跟观众互动，而最后用人型纸板来交代。 木衲得可爱 :p

很喜欢他压轴的“收藏”。 很潇洒！ 那刹那最后悔没拿相机录下来。等等看youtube上有没有人上载。

希望萧敬腾下一次演唱会能有更多自己的歌。少一点服饰不必要的刻意喧哗，多一点他那独特的“洛克” 风。

(Warped) Perception of My world

I have been talking to a lot of persons lately (which is a rather taxing ordeal for someone who doesn't really like to talk..).

From what we talked about, it seemed that these people are leading the high life (of sort), for their kind of background. Darn if I wouldn't be surprised that there will be less people who still believe that ploughing through higher education and putting in effort is the path to a better paid job = better life. This realisation had apparently defied the principles which I thought had held true since young, that you reap for the efforts you sow, and so..in a way, my world became a bit twisted when the pillars of my belief got thwarted.

Which threw up a lot of questions in my mind - from a sociology point of view, how is this going to contribute to the society? Compared to an engineer, a teacher, the man or woman in uniform - the people who build and maintain the fabric of this society.

But of course, in this world of dollars and cents, the one who brings in the dough, justifies a bigger share of it. Even though it is based on providing "entertainment" for which outcome is favourable to only one party at the end of the day. Now I understand why a doctor had commented that it is an industry which doesn't bring value to the society.

But I remember this liner which I had read before (ok I cant remember where I had read it from, so don't sue me) - "Don't envy the person for what he is now, for you have not walked his path".

Hmm.. well... I need much more convincing to feel and know that what I am doing now is right cos it just doesn't make sense any more.

Beep!

Level 7-9..

Level 7-10..

*du-du-du* Start of Level 8

Level 8-1..

I wonder if I'll still be alive by then.

THE ANNUAL BEEP TEST IS HERE!!!! ARGHHH!!

*gulp*

太聪明....的卖弄

潇洒点。

First game for 2010

Seeing the lack of people going down to training and we are going to have some new players from other club, ZA decided that instead of hoping people will turn up for training, we might as well just play friendly and do with what we have, or rather what we lack of.

That's how I picked up my hockey stick after more than half a year of hiatus. Playing at 2pm is madness..with the swaltering heat that has been hitting Singapore for the past week. And having no match fitness is not joke. I didn't even run much as how a game is likely going to be. Bleh.

After the game, we decided we wanted to go to an aircon place and lose some of that heat, and eventually landed up at Marbel Slab Creamery at Cluny House. Ice cream! So much for putting back whatever was expended. Although after that I realised that the ice-cream there was exorbitantly expensive...

And that was where we heard how things were at the nat'l team. I don't recall having gone through so much politicking and during my time, everybody was pretty much getting along with everybody else (minus the character clash).

It seemed like we kinda took for granted how things were run - more systematically,clear leadership, and very much self-initiated. I don't recall any rude remarks were tolerated, which never happened anyway. Any comments had to be positively constructed, for the purpose to make things better, rather than sarcastic remarks for the sake of putting the other person else down. In fact, that kinda shaped how I think a team should communicate to one another, which was why I hated it if I hear anybody now harp on other people's mistakes but don't offer any solution or assistance, which I think is a waste of anybody's bloody time. Of course, that was also why those years of playing with the team left so many good memories. I dont think I would have enjoyed the times as much if there was someone who kept passing caustic remarks and putting people down.

It had been valuable memories and life skills that will never leave anybody; too bad the current team don't experience that kind of camaraderie.

How do you find Happiness?

Join our group and you will find

Harmony and peace of mind

Make it better

We're here to welcome you

We're all on a journey to

Finding the real inner you

Make it better

We're here to welcome you

Time stops still when

You've lost Love

Happiness
How'd you get to be happiness
How'd you get to find love, real love
Love, love, love

Brit pop/alternative always sound so distinctive.

What a scary thought

12 midnight. I slumped in my chair, spacing out after a VERY long day at work.

Suddenly I had a thought of sleeping there and then, and save the trouble of travelling home.

It's good that I quickly shook myself and that scary thought out of my head. And went home straightaway.

So tired.