Post about a nothing Friday

Still icing my left knee, no thanks to that weekend , and another reminder that my muscles are not yet conditioned to such sudden surge in activity.

Have been laying off the runs for 2 weeks, and this morning, couldn't take it anymore and went for a swim at the gym this morning despite the thunderstorm (Well hello Fitness First pool! It has been what..2 months? 3? Thank goodness that the pool was heated up this morning as well)

Followed by a long meeting, quick lunch-in, and then out for a team bonding sort of event.

And the work week is officially over after that.

Feels like its lacking something.

Remembered the talk with the big boss some time back, during which he pointed out something had changed about me, which was something that I keenly felt myself during the last 2 years. Something is not sitting right, and I still feel like I am groping in the dark, searching for that switch to understand something.

"The moment being the best teacher", I have been asking myself sometimes what the current situation is trying to tell me..

Maybe it's trying to tell me to stop fighting, and just move on.

Yeah, maybe I should.

xxxxx

前些日子谈起了happy endings。一面谈，我一面想起我第一次将我觉得自己要的happy ending，告诉另一个人了 - 一个前男友的朋友。有一些人，对别人的感受特别敏感，她因该就是这种人。

“要幸福快乐吧”，我对她说。

她停顿了一下，笑了笑说，“怎么我突然感觉那么大的恐惧感？”

我傻愣了。的确，在讲那句话的时候，虽然是真想要幸福快乐，我的心是发着冷颤，充满抗拒的。那时，感情和生活繁杂颠倒，缠的我透不过气。觉得，幸福快乐，离我遥不可及。

那是三年前的事了。

今天，在微博读到张德芬 在《遇见未知的自己》写的这一句话，又唤起这一段回忆：

"亲爱的，外面没有别人，只有你自己。所有的人事物都是你内在的投射，就像镜子一样反射你的内在。当外境有任何东西触动你的时候，记得，要往内看。看看自己哪个地方的旧伤又被碰触了，看看自己有哪些阴影还没有整理好。不要浪费能量在那些外在的、不可改变、不可抗拒的东西上。”

是该又大扫除一下了。

xxxxx

发完牢骚，心情好多了。