Tricky - Murder Weapon

The song sounds too dangerous..that's why it's good.

再见了， 阿婆

吴耀兰老夫人， 享年八十有一。

从小到大，我只知道，她是我的“阿婆”。

阿婆的温文尔雅，参杂一丁点本土马来语的潮州话，因该很难再听到了。这几天，在灵柩堂，我们那间人气最多。阿婆也算是儿孙（与曾孙）满堂。当然也见到了一些阿婆的直属亲戚和妈妈在马国的表兄妹们 。 一个个的潮州称呼加上他们的妻室，听得我“耳”花缭乱。

阿婆是我最后一位祖父母辈的家属；随着她的逝世，突然觉得失去了自己和过去重要的一环。这一环，随着时间的流逝，变成了历史的一页。

阿婆，走好了。

玄 梦

昨晚，梦里多了一张脸。

这张脸，既熟悉，又陌生。

熟悉，是因为见过面，碰过好几回。

陌生，是因为我们只是点头之交。

（没用的我，那一次太在乎，太腼腆，谈没两句就找机会走掉）

性格 兴趣 迥然不同的我们为什么会同时出现在这么一个亲昵的梦境，让我匪夷所思。

但也莫名的心满意足。

无聊。

The Nightmare

It was a crowded day at the lagoon..on second take, it appeared more like an in-land lake, with people lounging on the sand next to the water, or taking canoe, kayak to the water. The tall office buildings surrounding the lagoon loomed over, somewhat jaded that their occupants are out having fun.

The sky turned dark without any warning, became oddly disquiet, and something felt like it was brewing menacingly. The wind suddenly stirred, and from the horizon over the water, gathered speed, building up to a column.

A typhoon! I shouted inwardly. I turned and saw despairingly, three typhoons!

The people gathered their stuff and dashed to wherever looked like it could provide some form of cover. The unfortunate few still on their kayak/canoe were capsized and never surfaced. I ran in between the people, turning back at the lagoon and saw that whirlpools had formed, sucking in whoever were near the water.

Unknowingly, I reached the shoreline with the open sea in front of me. I jumped into the sea, together with the many people, and started to paddle, squeezing for space. And the first wave hit me from behind. The typhoons over the lagoon finally caught up, raised the lagoon water, and thunder down into the sea, threatening to drown us all.

I paddled and paddled, occasionally looking back. The tower carrying the logo of a bank toppled into the lagoon..and another blue building which looked vaguely familiar also fell prey under the typhoon and collapsed into the waters. I imagined the screams of the people trapped inside those buildings, with no way to save their own lives under concrete and water.

Another wave from the lagoon raised skywards, before hitting down on the masses who were swimming for their lives in the open sea, dragging everybody down. I surfaced and started paddling again, but now towards the shore, struggling to keep afloat while looking up at the same time, anticipating another tsunamic wave to come and perhaps which may just bring me down for good. When I finally reached the shore, I found some of my friends on the beach, and we huddled together, suffering wave after wave..praying for the pounding of the waves to stop and I started to wonder how it feels to die when you absolute had no other choices about it..

.

.

.

.

.

.

And I woke up. I flipped over to check my phone on the bedside table - 6am. Again. Another hour before the alarm was supposed to sound. I turned back trying to get back to sleep, but as with the past few weeks, sleep eluded me while the sense of alarm did not dissipate.

Something is seriously wrong with my mental state.

以前 和 将来

两杯红酒后， jz 说道，如果能回到二十几岁， 会做些什么。

噢。 真是不堪回首。

以前的理直气壮，认为选择都是对的。回头一看，真觉得如果十年来的任何一步， 真走偏了一点，现在的我可能是一百八十度地不一样。可怕的是， 现在再看未来，知道了现在做的每一个决定，绝对涉及到未来的结果。

固然不信取任何宗教信仰，也觉得要经历这条路的总总起伏，必定有原因。年级越大，越觉得除了自己以外，还有一股更大的力量在运作（好不科学的宿命论？？）。也只能守住一份信念，希望未来的自己幸福安好。

RIP, Mrs LKY

Unlike how the high profile of political leaders' spouses were in other countries, I have never remembered if Mrs Lee Kuan Yew was ever a face for any social causes, organisations or anything vaguely related to politics.

Since yesterday, the internet was abuzz with news of her passing, and tributes poured in, published in the Sunday's Times. Stories of her devotion to her husband and family were abound. The ever Asian wife, as she was quoted as always walking two steps behind Mr . Lee. Even though she could have had a stellar legal career of her own, she chose her path to stay in the background, and stuck to it.

No matter what the views are on LKY's political position in Singapore..this is a story of two devoted persons, who had walked through 60 years of their lives together.

My condolences to the family for their losses.