Oh vanity!

That drives one to walk relentlessly through the throngs of people amassing in the ubiquitous malls in Singapore.

All because of one frivolous idea - I got no shoes to wear (the same frivolous idea that flitted every morning when I open the crowded wardrobe in that one life defining moment before I decide what I will wear to face the world for the rest of the day)(which will probably be something that I don't need to iron and look decently presentable in).

Sometime back I was starring at the shoes I had got and decided that I really have nothing to wear for a wedding dinner. Other than the shoes for work (which on their own aren't those sensible ones anyway..not if you intend to walk in 3 inch heels constantly). And in the end I hurriedly chose one pair and decided that heck..it's not my wedding anyway. And during the dinner, an unkindly friend passed an unkindly comment about my shoes (hmm..I should have trusted my ex-boyfriend's assessment of her.Sometimes guys can't be bothered with fronts and hence can see through one easily. )

Of course, any feeling of frivolity went out of the window. Though I was not mad at that person..I decided that I should at least go shopping, which was something that I hadn't really been doing for..hmm..long..I cannot remember when was the last time I went shopping along Orchard Road. And I decided that I might as well go to the extreme..and get something that is more bling.

I swear that in my younger days, I would never own anything that even resembles bling and risk my reputation. But I guess priorities change as one age.

So spent two afternoons there cutting through post christmas crowds. And whoever thought bling shoes were so hard to find? Most of them are OTT loud, or bridal-ey lacy type. On the later, I think I probably get enough ideas for anybody who plans to buy bridal shoes (my top recommendation is this which I found during a pre-shopping research. But the 114 others were also all too yummy..).

On the second day, even landed more collateral damages (all thanks for friend who showed me her horse-riding pants and sharing her store discount card :p) and not finding shoes. But I eventually did find something, thanks to patient friend who help me vet shoe after shoe after shoe..and eventually down to the last two pairs, even helped me model the two different colours (always bring a good friend shopping!)

Are they bling enough?? Yes, my reputation is now ruined..but I am a partially blinded by the blings that I can't be bothered too much :)

Merry Christmas! ;)

Death by Email

I wonder if there is ever this thing call "unnecessary data traffic".

A good person - what is that?

What is considered a good person?

I had a good thought exercise today. So good that my brain is suffering from chronic fatigue and probably going in to cramping mode soon.

I used to have a boss who said, "You should keep asking 'why' until you can't ask anymore. That is when you will get your answer." The same probably applies to deciphering that question , but instead of "Why", it was "What do you mean"?

When you say someone is a good person - what do you mean? Good in what sense? What has he done or doing to make you think that he is good?

The same when you say a person is honest. What do you mean? How do you know he is honest? Did you ever see him pick up $10 on the road and stood there for a whole day waiting for a person who dropped it to come back? Someone who never cheated once in his life? Who doesn't ever cheat - stealing half an hour grace period when tearing the parking coupon would actually be considered cheating..but do you consider that person as dishonest?

When you say someone is not a good person. What do you mean? Where had he failed to achieve the social norm of what is considered good? What is the social norm anyway??

Character traits that are so taken for granted a good person/ bad person sound so senseless when confronted with all these what-do-you-mean-s..

======

Btw while googling for an image, I found this cool list - Top 10 Common Faults in Human Thought

One thing I hate most about this time of the year...

Singapore has always been know to have two kinds of weather - sunny and rainy.

There is always this that everybody knows but forget - wintry too. Almost a daily occurrence at many areas, running during the golden hours of productivity, freezing the brains out of many tropical sons and daughters.

I am talking about the air conditioning in the many offices that drives the Singapore economy every day.

Hailed as the greatest invention for Singapore economy by the Lee senior himself, these great machines spills out cold air to cool the hot-headedness of men and women hard at work, keeping the environment cool and chilly optimal for the only resources that Singapore has.

Crap. The key word is optimal. Not the hypothermia inducing freeze??

Especially during this time of the year, when temperature drops one or two degs, and it would have been nicely chilly, if not for the fact that the central air conditioning in the office building seem to be powered up even more by the drop in in temperature.

In the office I have a jacket and a piece of shawl that I have been wearing alternatively depending on the mood..I have been contemplating for a while if I should be wearing both but I thought it was a bit OTT.

Today was the last straw when I got a feeling that I cant feel my fingers any more. So I wore both the jacket and the shawl, and totally felt so phoney that it felt like something that I would do if I am in like 10 degrees in London, not Alexandra Road Singapore. But I dont care..my fingers are more important.

Yeah maybe it's to boost up the christmas wintry mood a bit more - induce people to really believe that they are in some winter wonderland and hence should ring up more in the cash register department to share the christmasy joy. Damn will be the day that you receive christmas cards of people suntanning on the beach when they should be smashing one another's faces in a snow fight.

Tomorrow onwards I am seriously considering bringing some of my previous winter clothing to standby in the office should it get too cold again.

A walk through a toy store

Was at a store that day with mum, cos mum wants to buy christmas presents for two kids, while I need to look for a birthday present for a friend's kid and vouchers for another friend's baby shower.

You know how those toy stores always put the latest, hottest, most popular toys at the front of the store so they catches the eyes of the kids - and hence the parents' attention (through the kid's screams I assume - IwantthatIwantthatIwantthat!!!) - as soon as they walk in.

I realised that I dont now how half of those toys operate. There was this shelf fully decked out with this toy got blade-something..that looks like round disc UFO thingey, apparently split up in 3 layers (it was hard deciphering the japanese instructions and totally incomprehensible illustration) but and comes with a launcher with the box.

There are so many different choices for this UFO thingey, in addition to having fanciful names like the "Pheonix" (I think it's called that because..erm..the toy came in the colour orange?) which after 15 minutes of looking, my mum and I couldn't figure out why one box cost 7 bucks more than the other box. There are accessories, e.g. the launcher (which is this plastic thing that looked like a beer bottle opener to me), some round plastic rings, light bulbs.

At least I heard of Ben Ten, who he and his friends (plus whatever pet/enemy/toy/whatever! ) had fully lined up the opposite shelf. (Hey I pride myself for knowing Ben Ten ok..for someone who doesn't even know that tv is showing the cartoon to know that this character exist. Seriously my last known famous cartoon-turned-merchandise was Pikachu. I don't even know what Ben Ten does that makes him so popular with kids).

Anyway my mum and I ended up with big headaches..cos we really have no idea what kids nowadays play with. Playacting seems to be not so fashionable now..given that toys like Transformers were banished to those shelves at the back. What happened to playdoh, lego and the likes?

I was kinda going to give up but my mum saw this remote car which she bought for the two kids last year Christmas. Apparently, she had bought some other toys for these two kids, until she saw someone in the toy store playing around with this car. Very colourful and the kids at the store then love it! So I bought them this toy car instead and the two kids were very happy and kept playing with them, she said.

Disco lights remote control car? I was reading the box and kinda hesitating when suddenly this korean lady who was with her toddler at the side chirped in English, "Yes, my boy love it!I highly recommend it!"

Oohh..ok..for a stranger to say that..says a lot. So I took the box to the cashier to pay, while my mum supervised the store staff testing out the remote control car. After I paid, I walked to my mother's side who was wildly gesticulating to me cos the staff had put in the battery and running the car.

OMG. Disco lights and music,turning front wheels... I had half a mind to ask for a refund immediately if not for the fact that my mother would be offended by the insinuation that her taste was bad..

I just hope that those would be what really enthrall kids after all.

Travel Buddies..or not..

Sometimes, when you travel with someone, you know if you can be friends for life.

Was thinking much about nothing..when I recollected the time when I travelled with a friend, which led to me remembering travelling with THAT friend and another one.

1. Travelling with that the first friend

In this case, I seriously doubt that I can rely on that person if ever my life depends on it.

Gosh, it was tiring to be the one who makes all the arrangements, deciding the itinerary when it was supposed to be a 2 persons trip. Even for a non-important question like "Do I look better with long or short hair?" drew a non-commital answer.

At one certain point in the trip, it was crystal clear that if ever anything happens, I probably have to look out for myself, IN ADDITION to fending for that person.

Right....

2. Travelling with THAT friend and another

I realised that I will forever hate the word "Anything".

Where to go? "Anything"

What to eat? "Anything"

This one good? "Anything"

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother....

And thereafter, it start to dawn on me that there were always those little things, though there all along, but has started to irk me a bit..seems like these are fair weather friends who probably expect you to be there when they are down, but no where to be found when you needed some boost.

Right...

小人的废话

有些人，讲话不付责任。

说一套，做一套 （一点信任度也没有）

口是心非 （小人也）

油腔滑调（小心连自己的舌头也吞进肚子）

满口将人鄙视的一文不值 （听进去，会给这人正中下怀）

听了真想刮这人一个巴掌，叫他反省反省一下。

Some restorative time

When the world is making a little lot less sense, a little of respite is in order.

Time to take things slower, time to stand or sit still for a bit, time to gaze out at the ever changing clouds, time to listen to the singing cicadas.

Time to just...be.

Breathe the air a bit more, leave the tv and phones behind more, sitting around the table, and chat a bit more.

Leaves me feeling wanting for more. Hopefully soon.

You naughty bear...

Right. That's pretty much how I look like right now.

Nah. That's Naughty Bear. NB for short. Pretty violent Iphone game though the name was a misnomer. Well, not so much as naughty as in kidish-naughty-spanking type..but naughty-homocidal-pycopathic naughty.

Not exactly something you would want to let your kids get their hands on..

But oh so good when you imagine that 小人 who has been giving you rubbish for the past week days. "Total Defluffication!" Yay! Heh..heh..heh...*evil laughter*

I think I want a Naughty Bear in my car. To threaten the rest of the nasty drivers on the road with.

词穷

最近发现表达能力越来越差。

讲话常常没法用一种语言讲完一句话，找不到适合的词句，得掺杂英，华，马来话。准备呈递给上司的电邮，论文，常常想不到能包含意思的那一个字，过了几天后，才恍然想起。

就连写博客，觉得打出来的好像没表达我想的二份之一。

是因为 对文字接触的少了吗？思考能力吗？ 怎么有退化的感觉。

3 whammies

Another bingeful week, post a week of slacking off. Indolence is a slippery slope. Seriously, I should sign up for more runs in order to force myself to go running.

But..

Whammy 1

I only managed to finish 2/3 of my usual 5km route by 30 mins. Gosh. Worst timing ever. ROARS!

Whammy 2

As I was on the first half of the route, I thought my pace was comfortably fast..when suddenly a 20-ish girl, wearing running cap and singlet, totted past and overtook me.

Trotting. That could be a word to describe how I would have ran 1 year ago. Now, it would be something like slow rumbling. And being overtaken can really be such a downer.

Within the next 30 seconds, she had increased the distance between us and soon, I lost sight of her, while I can feel some lactic acid creeping into my calves. Well done, calves.

ROARS!!

Whammy 3

At the end of the run of the miserable 3 odd km..I turned off the running route..panting and feeling the twitch in the left butt coming on..when I saw..

the same trottling girl at the void deck. Doing leg lifts.

Leg lifts!! The kind that we were forced to do 3-5 sets of at the end of hockey trainings, but finished no doubt. The kind that gives you sculpted abs. The last I tried to do something like that during yoga class I was ashamed that the auntie next to me can hold her legs at 45degrees without shivering and I suspected with a snigger at me when my two legs were shivering like leaves in the wind.

ROARS!!!!!!!!!

Dammit. I decided to skip the lift and walked up the stairs, hoping the 6 flights would helped to burn some more of those unwanted fats and deluding myself that my abs was doing somewhat of a work out as well as I climbed each step.

No more slacking! ROARS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

陈绮贞 夏日练习曲 演唱会

很惭愧的，第一次认识陈绮贞是她和阿信合唱 “私奔到月球” 。 那时我还以为那个新人搭上阿信来鼓吹她的名声。 太有眼不识泰山了！人家1998年就和滚石出唱片了好吗....

过后，从友人借了她的精选集，原来，以前曾听过她好多首歌，只是那时不喜欢她那种细声细语的唱腔，比如“让我想一想”，“还是会寂寞”。“私奔到月球” 后，当然”太阳” 和 “鱼” 真的让我注意到陈绮贞。

但是，现在听她早期的歌，是越听越沉醉。

昨天，和一群友人去听了陈绮贞演唱会。 听完演唱会，有被感动到。怎么会有一个人的歌声那么清纯好听...

第一段，被壮观的舞台效果 （陈绮贞站在半透明的帘幕后，双手摊开 帘幕上她变成一个具有一对巨大的翅膀，明亮的天使）， 和一幕一幕美轮美奂的背景，让每一首歌充满了戏剧性，好像看了一出有一出的MV。

第二段，陈绮贞静静的坐在台的一端，身后布景是她的房间，说是把观众带到她创作的原地。她的歌声是主旋，一把吉他就足已衬托。

第三段，我最喜欢。演唱会摇滚了起来。谁会想到“躺在你的衣柜”竟然可以那么摇滚？

可是，好不习惯。不到十点半就要encore了？ 当然，陈绮贞encore 环节三次都不负众望。她的声音，背上一把吉他，双手一触琴弦，委婉的歌声就像一股清流，抚慰着每个人的心。

可是，三次encore后，才十一点半，也不知道还有没有压轴的...但是演唱会观众已陆续的离开，也没辙了。

听陈绮贞的演唱会，难怪需要一个平静即狂野的心 －平静聆听每一首个歌后面叙述的故事，但也能狂野地被波动起来。

懒

最近，发现自己越来越懒 － 懒得跟人讲话，懒得出门。

懒的跟人讲话，好像因为成了习惯。 每天来来回回的在emails里做拉锯战。况且现在办公室里还加了年instant messaging，有什么问题状况，只需要开一个对话窗口，连一通电话都省了。因为每个人项物不同，有时跟坐旁边的同事也没多讲两句。

懒得出门，觉得家里最舒服，不用打扮，不用注重仪表。t－恤短裤，再怎么邋遢，谁管的着 。

回到家，也不想讲话。msn 也不想。

与世隔绝？

我多希望。

向往再一次往邻国的岛屿“与世隔绝”。

陈绮贞- Self

陈绮贞 - 小步舞曲

陳綺貞 - 雨天的尾巴

嘻～！:D

Looooonnnnggg weekend

Due to some unplanned reason, I had to take Thursday off..forgetting that Friday was a public holiday.

Oh well, all the better :D Thursday was spent with my chore of pre-CNY springcleaning, then dinner with ex-coursemates. Friday afternoon was then spent with some ex-colleagues.

The body clock was ticking.. on Friday night, a sinking feeling started to form only to give way to elation - oh darn..tomorrow is Monday..hey no..tomorrow is Saturday. I have got two more rest days! Woot!~

Hence Saturday morning was bliss :)

The sinful feeing of not doing ANYTHING was sinking in, and in the end I pushed myself to go running, albeit a short one since I really can't recall when was the last time I ran. (I wanted to kill myself at the 20th minute. Gosh..how could I allow myself to slack so much?)

The real deal of Monday blues is happening soon..I envy those lucky some people who to love their job, which make Monday blues kinda non-existent.

Oh well...Lemme try a bit harder :s But the song tells it all.

If only they have an official MV for this.

Tricky - Murder Weapon

The song sounds too dangerous..that's why it's good.

再见了， 阿婆

吴耀兰老夫人， 享年八十有一。

从小到大，我只知道，她是我的“阿婆”。

阿婆的温文尔雅，参杂一丁点本土马来语的潮州话，因该很难再听到了。这几天，在灵柩堂，我们那间人气最多。阿婆也算是儿孙（与曾孙）满堂。当然也见到了一些阿婆的直属亲戚和妈妈在马国的表兄妹们 。 一个个的潮州称呼加上他们的妻室，听得我“耳”花缭乱。

阿婆是我最后一位祖父母辈的家属；随着她的逝世，突然觉得失去了自己和过去重要的一环。这一环，随着时间的流逝，变成了历史的一页。

阿婆，走好了。

玄 梦

昨晚，梦里多了一张脸。

这张脸，既熟悉，又陌生。

熟悉，是因为见过面，碰过好几回。

陌生，是因为我们只是点头之交。

（没用的我，那一次太在乎，太腼腆，谈没两句就找机会走掉）

性格 兴趣 迥然不同的我们为什么会同时出现在这么一个亲昵的梦境，让我匪夷所思。

但也莫名的心满意足。

无聊。

The Nightmare

It was a crowded day at the lagoon..on second take, it appeared more like an in-land lake, with people lounging on the sand next to the water, or taking canoe, kayak to the water. The tall office buildings surrounding the lagoon loomed over, somewhat jaded that their occupants are out having fun.

The sky turned dark without any warning, became oddly disquiet, and something felt like it was brewing menacingly. The wind suddenly stirred, and from the horizon over the water, gathered speed, building up to a column.

A typhoon! I shouted inwardly. I turned and saw despairingly, three typhoons!

The people gathered their stuff and dashed to wherever looked like it could provide some form of cover. The unfortunate few still on their kayak/canoe were capsized and never surfaced. I ran in between the people, turning back at the lagoon and saw that whirlpools had formed, sucking in whoever were near the water.

Unknowingly, I reached the shoreline with the open sea in front of me. I jumped into the sea, together with the many people, and started to paddle, squeezing for space. And the first wave hit me from behind. The typhoons over the lagoon finally caught up, raised the lagoon water, and thunder down into the sea, threatening to drown us all.

I paddled and paddled, occasionally looking back. The tower carrying the logo of a bank toppled into the lagoon..and another blue building which looked vaguely familiar also fell prey under the typhoon and collapsed into the waters. I imagined the screams of the people trapped inside those buildings, with no way to save their own lives under concrete and water.

Another wave from the lagoon raised skywards, before hitting down on the masses who were swimming for their lives in the open sea, dragging everybody down. I surfaced and started paddling again, but now towards the shore, struggling to keep afloat while looking up at the same time, anticipating another tsunamic wave to come and perhaps which may just bring me down for good. When I finally reached the shore, I found some of my friends on the beach, and we huddled together, suffering wave after wave..praying for the pounding of the waves to stop and I started to wonder how it feels to die when you absolute had no other choices about it..

.

.

.

.

.

.

And I woke up. I flipped over to check my phone on the bedside table - 6am. Again. Another hour before the alarm was supposed to sound. I turned back trying to get back to sleep, but as with the past few weeks, sleep eluded me while the sense of alarm did not dissipate.

Something is seriously wrong with my mental state.

以前 和 将来

两杯红酒后， jz 说道，如果能回到二十几岁， 会做些什么。

噢。 真是不堪回首。

以前的理直气壮，认为选择都是对的。回头一看，真觉得如果十年来的任何一步， 真走偏了一点，现在的我可能是一百八十度地不一样。可怕的是， 现在再看未来，知道了现在做的每一个决定，绝对涉及到未来的结果。

固然不信取任何宗教信仰，也觉得要经历这条路的总总起伏，必定有原因。年级越大，越觉得除了自己以外，还有一股更大的力量在运作（好不科学的宿命论？？）。也只能守住一份信念，希望未来的自己幸福安好。

RIP, Mrs LKY

Unlike how the high profile of political leaders' spouses were in other countries, I have never remembered if Mrs Lee Kuan Yew was ever a face for any social causes, organisations or anything vaguely related to politics.

Since yesterday, the internet was abuzz with news of her passing, and tributes poured in, published in the Sunday's Times. Stories of her devotion to her husband and family were abound. The ever Asian wife, as she was quoted as always walking two steps behind Mr . Lee. Even though she could have had a stellar legal career of her own, she chose her path to stay in the background, and stuck to it.

No matter what the views are on LKY's political position in Singapore..this is a story of two devoted persons, who had walked through 60 years of their lives together.

My condolences to the family for their losses.

郑可为 － Plastic Mannequin Love

I like this song :)

Morcheeba - Gained the World

It's blessed to have friends with good taste..

During a dinner, my dinner companion stopped in a middle of conversation and told me the name of this band. I cant remember what song she pointed out though..hmm..

Not surprising, this is a Brit band. I wonder if there is any American music group that sounds anywhere under this genre of chill-trip-hop.

(feels a lil bit sad for the protagonist at the end..how similar it is that we are all awestruck by the seeming glamourous front of things, striving all we can to get there, and then realizing that it was all a sham in the first place)

Mel's Testimonial Match

Melanie Martens has always been the doyen of the national team, for as long as I can remember. When I was still fooling around in the B divisions, I can never forget the time when the Delta Sports Complex, packed to the brim, and everybody cheered...no, roared when the team she captained went on to win the SEA Games gold on home ground.

When I got to JC, stories about how good she was on the field, how commanding (and fierce!) my JC teammates who were already on the youth team by '95 would recount to me..to my awe and amazement.

In 1999, Mel's last (and my first) SEA Games in Brunei, she was still as commanding and brilliant on the field at 38. Having never really trained or played with her before, I still see her as a senior who is way above in a class of her own. And still awed like the teenager of 1995.

Now 12 years later, Mel, turning 50, was going to have the birthday bash that she had starting planning for 3 years back. Luck has it that she was walking around her school compound, and one of her knee gave way just like that. Torn ligament, probably a "souvenir" for all the years of hard knocking her knees took. With sheer determination and lots of physiotherapy sessions, she appeared on the field as if she was her old, albeit slightly injured self (hockey players always carry some sort of old injuries - age just amplifies them). Anybody not privy wouldn't have realised that she just had a knee operation less than 2 months back.

After the match was her birthday bash at St Mary's Church. Surrounded by family, teammates and friends, I see Mel as a personification of living for her passion to the fullest - braving injuries to every possible part for the game she loved, enjoying every fun moment with her friends/teammates off the pitch, loving her family, friends, colleagues and every part of her life...

I was still awed last night. But no longer as a teenager of 95, but as a person who see someone whose life, when she look back, can definitely say it was Simply The Best, the theme song for the 93 SEA Games team and the one which accompanied the montage put together by her closest team mate as a tribute of her wit, determination, courage and desire to be the very best that she could.

Wishing Mel many more great moments from this milestone onwards!

(I am totally regretting not taking any photographs yesterday..darn!)

张教练

Lahore, Pakistan, (when?? 1998?)

比赛的休息日。我们到了Lahore 的 - 应该是他们的国家公园。也应该是逛完了在等巴士来载我们会饭店。 张教练叫，“拍照！”

我们一班决定耍教练。 拍照之前，我们用英语串通好，"Ay later all of us turn around ok? ok huh.." "ok now..we pretend to run away..." 拍第一张照的时候，教练都没反应过来 （所以站的好端正 :D）最后两张好像是教练要我们把手压在他背上，好让他知道如果我们又耍把戏的话。

Lahore, Pakistan (sometime 98 or 99)

我是初级学院一年级的时候，被选上青年队。比一些同辈的青年队员迟两年到张教练的旗下训练。

King's Cup, Thailand 1997

教练的训导方式，从对中国球员的辱骂，杀伤力已经削减很多了。可是还得适应着。 Motivating players, giving encouragement...好像下场不用给教练骂就可有暗自偷笑了。哈哈！但是，教练的球场和对手分析，和对球员的了解是我这生中，没再见过了。

在教练的教导下，几年下来获益不浅。球路，比赛球场中攻和防的计略。 从97年到2000年，为了预备比赛，去过巴基斯坦，印度，澳洲，北京，泰国参加过各类的比赛，友谊赛，训练营，每一次都是满满的回忆。队友们都笑说，这些回忆可以讲上到我们五十岁，说起了还会哈哈大笑的。

Arafura，Darwin Australia 1999

一个从中国全职球员体制的教练， 他常说： 来新加坡，不只是练我们， 他也被磨练了 － 练他的脾气，耐心，来适应新加坡不同的体育制度。球员兼顾做工，读书，晚上来练球 - 工作应重要。碰上考试，小球员都没能来几个。钩球总会, 体育协会的要求和运作....

（SEA Games 1999，忘了scan...)

1995年到2000年。张教练在新加坡呆了五年。 教练2000年没被续约，会国了。 后来，带起北京女队到现在。 除了几个到了北京和他会面，有十年没见到他了。

为了Mel 的五十大寿的testimonial match, 张教练来新加坡了！星期三，张教练带过来新加坡的几位中国球员为他洗尘，昨晚，老队员和他碰面。今晚，轮到我们小队员请他吃饭了！（怎么说，张教练在的时候，我还是青年队上来的“小队员”好吗......)

当然，心里已有准备教练面容会苍老一些，但听到教练患糖尿病，和他临走说累，未免一阵心酸。

吃完饭，和张教练的合照

明天，张教练是来给Mel一个惊喜的。明天后待续。

Tomorrow...

(akan datang)

The great Beijing GuoAn Brawl

One of the big news that I miss while in Jakarta (other than the casino bus plying the heartlands) would be the Young Lions and Chinese GuoAn showdown on the pitch.

My friend was half kicking herself for not being in SG for the probably biggest highlight of the local soccer scene in a long while. While waiting for our turns at the salon for a good hairwash plus massage in downtown Jakarta, she was on the line making expensive overseas calls, giving out her press contacts when she could have been there for the scoop for herself.

For me, I was amused when I heard the news on the way to the airport (shit, I is evil I know. But there has nothing been so interesting since a long while in the Singapore sports scene!). How it took 5 mins, a long time in Brawl-ly-wood, to get both sides off the pitch. How the poor Young Lions manager was kicked by you-know-who while trying to break the fights in vain.

By the look of this video, I say the umpire totally failed in his duty to send off those thugish players before things got too ugly. Send one off to set an example, instead of letting temper rise. I was quite impressed though how fast the Beijing club send in their management to issue an apology.

But oh my..it still was interesting :p

Back!~

Long weekend in Jakarta.

Doing nothing much..except..

• lolling around the (friend's) house/pool,
• popping by "Gay-Yee" (that's how you pronounced G-I in Indon. Anyhow, GI stands for Grand Indonesia) 3 days in a row..to shop for groceries (day 1), nua-ing at Starbucks (day 2), and trying some civet-dung-of-a-coffee. (day 3). Why all 3 days?! Well, just because we can :p
• And watch DVD after DVD after DVD after DVD - Changeling, It's Complicated, The Sniper, Salt.

And just too soon, the long weekend is gone.

This coming weekend, going to meet someone who I have not seen since 10 years ago...会百感交集吗？

Been buzzzzyyyy...

Recently I bethink that work has a mysteriously way to multiply itself unknowingly..

First weekend trip to Malaysia for this year, and fighting to clear as much as possible before flying to Jakarta tomorrow for the long weekend.

To lazy days! :D

Tom's Diners

Song was stuck in my head. I don't even know when this song came out but it's one of those songs that you will never forget after you hear it once.

(The original MTV is here, and if you ask me, it's all trippy in its own ways..)

And since we are at Suzanne Vega, I remembered that my GP teacher then (seems like eons ago) had given us a group assignment, which was to share songs that addresses some social problems. Thanks for the super musically attuned classmate in my group, I was introduced to the troubled boy called Luka.

But anyway, that's to get the tune out of my head (and perhaps planted into yours. Hah~).

My new gadget

Yesh :) A pre-owned Sony E-reader PRS 600 that I was looking for. The previous owner, told me when we met up that he has gotten it from UK since last year, but didn't have much use for it. Not much e-books selection, he said.

So far, I have finished one Terry Prachett and one John Grisham, both borrowed from the National Library. And now, I have:-

• the Stieg Larsson - Girl with the Dragon Tattoo trilogy (I plan to finish them before I go watch the movie!!) (hopefully..);
• two more borrowed books from the National Library - Dune Book 3 and Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy;
• 射雕英雄传 （现处于－郭靖已拜七怪为师了）
• Oliver Twist (I want to try the Gutenburg Project)

And I wonder why the pre-owner said that there wasn't much e-books options..

Cons?

The only major grouse was that Sony Reader Library, the default application for the e-reader died on me..seems that it is a common grouse for a lot of other owners from the forums, driving them to embark on alternatives, seemingly more stable applications like Adobe Digital Edition, and Calibre. Well, it's Sony's loss then for losing its captive market for its online book store.

Second (minor) grouse..after I finished the first 2 borrowed library books, I cant "return" them, will have to wait for them to expire on their own (pro - I dont have to go to the library physically = I don't incur late fees just cos..I was too lazy to move my butt. Works well for me :D)

I ish happy :DD

现代感情观

拜五和 ‘08年认识的一班狗友们喝着红酒笑谈风声。 喝着喝着，狗友们坦然的讲起他们现处的感情观：

• 旧爱还是最美
• 宁愿人负我，也不是我负人
• It's...complicated.

友人也提到身边某某和某某的绯闻，感情纠结。

年轻的时候，以为从一而终是惯例。 现在觉得好像从百花镜里看世界，各型各色的人事物，还一直不停的转变。是不是快变成“速食”社会，感情也变成 “速食化”。

可能我早一点把红药丸吞下，早点清醒接受现实会比较好。

Is Singapore really..starting to be more open minded?

A friend gave an early notice that she will be stopping over in SG before flying back to Indo for CNY, and we were actually planning if we can find some good promo for hotel stay over the weekend that she is here.

And while I was googling for hotel promos that runs up to 2011, one of the links led to a prominent hotel in Singapore. The page listed a couple of different promotional packages which were valid till Mar 2011. And while I was looking at the packages, I saw one that was called "Pride Welcome Package".

Most people who are somewhat attune to the LGBT segment of the society would know that "Pride" was a term synonymous with them. Otherwise, the thumbnail of 2 guys' faces smiling-while-side-glancing-each-other should also be a dead gave away.

Again like what I said, this was a prominent hotel along the Orchard Road belt. A commercial gay pride supporter in strait laced Singapore?? Wow. I always thought this was a hush-hush topic that nobody really wanted to comment on, much less a commercial entity who is willing to break the taboo and opening recognise this group of people, and dangle a carrot for their pink dollars.

Marketing strategy wise, it was a clear sign that rather than assume that such people will go for the generic "couple" package, the LGBT segment seems like its gaining more recognition for marketing people to specifically target them,and for them to assume that LGBTs will be open enough to sign up for the package, go to the reception counter and tell them "I am checking in for the Pride package I booked" together with their same sex partners.

This is really interesting...Does it mean that the Singapore society is becoming more open-minded about such stuff? Well, I mean it was clearly documented that the Romans were engaged in same sex relationships.

m

I wonder if we will ever end up in the same league as these countries. I say, let people choose who they want to spend their lives with.

我看。我听。我读。

我看

赚人热泪的灾难片。 至少比好莱坞更真实，更感人。

轻松浪漫小品。 可是未必有点太单纯了吧？

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

我听

See my previous entries today. I cant believe that I am listening to songs possibly written when my parents are wearing still their agogo pants. But the songs cater for a certain mood.

＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝＝

Catcher in the Rye is NOT the book to read when the world already don't make sense. Phonies!!

(wow. this post is overflowing with cynism)

Cream Sitting on Top of the World

Blasting the album all the way home to drown out the voids in my brains after deciding that certain things don't carry meaning anymore.

The Youth Olympic Games 2010

Even as Singapore was announced to be the host country of the inaugural Youth Olympics, I thought I would be more excited when the it actually starts.

Come 2010. I asked a friend working as a sports reporter if the YOG has created any wave within the media circle, not privy to the rest of the public. She said there wasn't any, only the exhorting news that the production cost is at least 3 times exceeding budget, and that was before when the news hit mainstream media.

Hmm..

Come Aug. Still no hype..I see more NDP banners and flags, and the only thing that greeted me every morning when I go to work "Give Way to YOG Vehicles".

Hmmm..

Come Aug 14. I was scratching my head over the ideas behind some of the segments of the opening ceremony (Why are the hosts wearing rainbow apparels - they don't get sponsored with YOG tees? Why are they singing Malay songs and Nobody? How come no sign of the mascots? What was the Maori war dance about??) , and distracted while my mum was laughing when the flag bearers couldn't follow their countries' plaque bearer for nuts.

But I was awed when the flag bearers stood in an arch and look up towards the raising flag, looking towards the higher ideals the Olympic games hopes to bring. Not only about winning and medal, but about sportsmanship, and friendship bonded over testing of skills and physique. The phoenix over the water looked grand gliding towards the platform (we were just waiting for that since sis was a volunteer dragonboater rowing in one of the boats before the phoenix - otherwise my mum proclaimed that she would have gone to sleep already), and the final leg of the torch bearer running over water towards the cauldron.

And what a magnificent cauldron! I was amazed at the vortex of fire that gave an unique twist (no pun intended) to the Olympic flame burning throughout the games.

OK..so much for the opening ceremony. Still no feeling of excitement.

Until I chance upon the YOG channel (was this stated anyway in the print media or mainstream channels??) and saw a couple of highlights and that was when it really dawned on me that the YOG is really happening in Singapore. The glint of the eyes of the TKD athlete before he went in for the kick at Suntec Center, the determination in the face of the swimmers as they hit the pool at the Singapore Sports School..

Young bodies who have sacrificed time, blood and sweat in the name of sports. The discipline, determination and desire to keep moving towards the goal set are such universal qualities that can never start too young . That finally clicked for me. Now I so want to watch the games at the hockey pitch..

Gosh if only the wound will heal and fever be gone. I am so sick of..feeling sick.

e-Reader

I remember this entry, about missing the feel of paper in my hands should I ever give up the actual books for hi-techy stuff.

The day might just be near. I am seriously considering getting either this:

Sony PRS600 Touch Edition

After I saw one of my friend (who is forever carrying the latest techy stuff..) showing us over dinner one day (show off! :p), and of course I had to borrow and play around with it. Oh gosh. Books on demand! Free EPub books! Borrow books from the National Library! But do noticed a bit of glare, slight flickering when turning the pages (it's touch screen - a plus!), and the Sony store for online book appeared quite..under stocked..

or this:

What else. The Kindle (Latest Generation DX Graphite)

When considering an e-reader, I must of course at least see what the Sony Reader compares to in the market, and it seems the benchmark is always Kindle in all the forums. No qualms on clarity and readability. Proprietary to Amazon - All the titles! Better PDF reads! But then..no national lib for this one. But smoother transition for page turning (but not touch screen, navi is via buttons)

Seriously, the price for both is not that much of a difference, which makes all the more difficult to decide which one to get. hmm....

Ok. In my all ideal scenario situation, someone would be able to sell me a mint condition PRS600 which I will thrash around for a while, before I decide to go for kindle for a change. However, maybe I can hope that my neighbour is this guy. Then I can go knock on his door and borrow a different one everyday.

Choices!!!

Moving on

When you hit valley bottom, there is no other way than to go up. Any longer, you know you will be going under. There was a time when I had kept slipping down that slippery slope, when finally within a split second, I know it wouldn't matter anymore and it was time to cut it off. That moment of liberation was so clear and precise, I wonder if I had deliberately let myself crash this time round , so that I can go on the rebound faster.

Whatever it was - rotten thoughts, people - just like rotten flesh, cut them away before they corrode the rest of a possible good and healthy life.

Thanks friends, for the kind words and concerns.

(Yes, I am so glad that I am out of the rainclouds)

溃坝了

近日心情真的快乐不起来。

本不想告知太多人。没想到第一天就计划就泡汤，心情更是扰乱得七上八下。第二天，和友人发电邮，以为可以找一点寄托，但被好像不当一会事，让我的心情落到谷底。

一星期下来， 迷迷糊糊的过。 星期天和球队的人聚餐被问时才提起。

本来想就报销巴厘岛潜水配套，因为没精神去打理。多亏友人们帮忙找人顶替配套和安排退房，昨天终于定了把潜水假期超便宜转让给出去。

早上球友发简讯问候，回说复诊改期。 整天魂不守舍。 老板讲了一些耐人寻味的东西 ，听了很不是滋味。

回家的时候， 终于溃坝了。 捏紧驾驶盘，双眼泪直流。到了家楼下，在车坐里整整一个小时，就等象个人样的时候才下车。晚上另一球友来电问候，得知在她们都在关心，咽哽着。

好累。

Parody of The Parrot

Father and son walked hand in hand past a pet shop. At the entrance of the shop, a parrot was perched on a stand.

"Squawk!" went the parrot when the pair walked past.

"Daddy! A parrot!" The boy, fascinated by the bird's gay colours, backed up and stood in front of the bird still holding to his father's hand.

"Can you say hello?" said the boy.

"He-lo" the parrot replied in its high pitch voice that only a parrot can do.

He tried another line. "Can you say - how are you?"

"Haw a you"

The boy squealed in delight. "Ooooh! What other things can you say? "

The parrot, who must have thought it found an appreciative audience, started rattling off "Haw du you du? Ding Dong! Hap-py nu yar!"

"Ooohhh! Daddy Daddy! Isn't the parrot such a smart animal? I want to be as smart as a parrot!"

The father, who had been watching the exchange with amusement, said, "No son, you don't want to be like a parrot. It is only repeating what its owner had taught him and really doesn't have a mind of its own."

Says a lot about someone in the office..

Float away

(credit: Float by Girlhula)

The desolate ballons caught the breeze

and tug against the restraining finger.

I crane my head skyward

to catch them in their glory

What colours! Each true to its essence,

the blue, the white, and

yellow and red.

But caught up in my own musing,

the eyes blinded by the sun momentarily.

The finger flinches, and

both fought to reach the skies first,

bouncing light gaily

off their luminescent skins,

leaving me with

fleeting happiness lingering on the fingertips,

imagining what adventure

the blue skies offer.

Oh what short lived joy!

又病了...

自拜一， 伤风的症状一直没退。

更糟的是，身体还没调回时差， 每天不到凌晨五点，双眼就自然睁得大大的， 搞得我还没上班就已经头昏脑胀。 鼻子不停造反，眼眶直泛泪。老板又时不时丢“烟雾弹”，答非所问， 让人丈二金刚摸不着头脑。一天下来， 我差不多已经行尸走肉 － 驾车是眼睛睁不开，昨天吃完晚饭，竟然累得头一靠在沙发上就睡着去。

恼。

Symptomatic sniffle

(i) from a messed up circadian rhythm?

(ii) from baking in the scorching sun watching adrenalin loaded dragonboaters?

(iii) from playing with the pooch after he rolled around in the grass? (dirty little fella)

(iv) adverse reaction to a Monday??

Whatever it is, it is making my head feel damn heavy and groggy. Damn it.

I'm home!

Halfway through the gruelling 19 hours flight I was really quite ready to go berserk. Sitting down there with nothing much to do, only to be constantly fed. Always remind me of the part in Fight Club - single serving meal, single serving coffee.

Only life-saver was the Krisworld entertainment (albeit I would have preferred if the fat kid sitting in front of me wouldn't fidget in his seat so much). An odd choice, but this was one of the best film I watched. A simple story line - a simple natured Czech peasant who was offered to become an Aryan Controller to take over a old, deaf and widowed Jewess' button shop; tragedy ensued when he accidentally killed her in the end in a bid to save his own conscience.

A really moving film that you won't be able to forget once you've seen it.

"Shop on Main Street"

Ida Kaminska as the Jewess proprietress of the button shop, at the scene when she was cranking up the gramophone playing her late husband's favorite record.

By the time we touched down Singapore, I was SOOOoooooooo relieved to be able to walk. Came home, passed the presents (even the pooch got one), showered and slept..and slept..and slept..missed one wedding lunch, didn't hear the thunderstorm and woke up feeling really contented.

Now just waiting to see if I will suffer from jet lag..oh yeah..and the unpacking. argh.

It's 37 Deg C!

For a few days now, the temperature had been hovering around 100 deg F. I didn;t realise that that translated to 37 deg c until my colleague pointed it out. The pavement radiates heat, and whatever breeze makes you feel like you are being cooked in a crock pot. And they say Singapore is hot.

Apparently, its one of the rare year that the temperature hit such a high, going by what a lot of other people say. Quite an experience I say, but I wonder how those people who had to work outdoors feel.

Happy Birthday USA!!

I would have thought that there will be a lot more stars and spangles peripherals flying around, but then up to this morning, I haven't seen much of those.

The sun was already up at 5am (havent been able to sleep beyond that for the past few days) and became seemingly blazing hot by 6am. The weather headlines (yes! They have weather headlines on the news!) says it's going to be hot up to 90something Ferenheit and turning muggy, so everybody should stay covered, slap on more sunscreen, and drink more water (non-alcoholic of course, accordingo to the news weatherman).

Going to try catch the 4th July Macy's fireworks tonight. I wonder if we will ever have NTUC sponsoring our fireworks on National Day.

Stuffy nose

At first I put it down to lack of sleep / jet lag / unaccustom to new environment..

but then the effects are so familiar to the time when I was in Darwin during the dryest period for that region that I think I know pretty much what caused it. The damn pollens that are floating the air causing the constant sniffing, congested nose that is giving me a headache.

Argh. Feeling damn groggy.

A Piece of the Big Apple

It has been 4 days since I reached this metropolitan city. When the plane was swopping over to turn to JFK airport, it was an eye opener looking for 2 things:

(i) I have never seen an area more dissected by grids and grids of built up area, and
(ii) when nearing the suburb areas, the rows of houses look so toy-like, like those lego houses, that one would think that it's possible to just pluck one up.

It was easy to navigate the NYC streets, so long as you can count the numbers of streets. Just dont too foolhardy like me, to try to walk anything more than 10 streets. After a while you realise why the ladies in NYC only wear flats and slippers.

Another thing I realise after getting slightly lost on the first night trying to walk back to my friend's apartment. First time walking back to Grand Central Terminal, I took a look at the name - "MetLife" perching on top of the builidng, one of the landmark recognisable from the apartment's windows, and started to walk towards the general direction. 5 minutes later, I tried to take my bearing again by looking up, and realised that I was surrounded by tall, unrecognisable blocks. Can't see Metlife building anymore. Thereafter it was hitting every corner by trial and error until I found the familiar landmark of the corner store near my friend's place.

Talk about an urban concrete jungle.

Haven't been taking photos..just felt so caught up in the pace of this city. And one thing I am very sure, my feet and legs hurt from so much walking.

Last game of the season

For me, that is.

With the game today, we are going to have a shot to win the league. But since I have to fly off next week, I will miss the finals. From the underdog to being placed at least top two, it has been quite a ride.

Hmm.

I was quite glad that I finally can give the back some rest and get to solve the problem somewhat first. The surgery that a relative had to take after nagging back pain which graduated to a full scale numbness kinda spooked me.

At the same time, I was wondering why the dispassionate feeling. Oh well, it has been at least 14 years of the same league. Will there be a 15th? Donno.

Let me get my back sorted out first.

Where is my CD?!

I suddenly felt like having "Across the Universe" OST on while driving home..when I realised that I couldn't find the album in my Ipod.

Hmm..that's really weird.

And when I came home to check on my Itune, I couldn't find it on my cover flow no matter how many times I scroll to and fro..it was getting too weird when I tried to find the original album in my boxes of CDs. And the CD's gone too!!!!

My favourite OST is missing!!!

ROOOAAARRRR!!!!

*&%*$%

Did I lend it to someone?

Don't think anybody has weird taste like me

Did I delete it?

Why would I do that?!

Ok..did I delete it by mistake??

............

but why would I do that?!?!

I guess I got to go buy another one again. I hope HMV carries it still!

Or maybe..it gives me a reason to buy the deluxe version. Woohoo!~

感情 感观

Oooo..I love it when dinner is a cosy affair, talking to a friend over things that matter and things that doesn't, simple but flavourful fares, and over glasses of wine.

Darn I was driving so I only had one. (Okok, not if I could down more even if I didn't drive.)

As our conversation flowed, I wonder why our world had become so different from our parents. 长相厮守变成例外，感情世界变得复杂到让人怯畏。

I always remember there was a time when a friend told me, in his kind little way, to drop the idea that marriage is ever lasting. The sooner I realise that, he told me, it would be less painful when shit hits the fan.

But I always held this little ounce of hope that it need not be that way.

预祝友人感事世界顺利 , 找到一个能依靠的人 :))

The Rob Crowe Situation

One moment I was in dire state for want of something to read.

The next moment I have 6 books and 1 half inch stack of documents to bulldoze through by next Monday.

But one thing cool that came with one of the books that I mooched from bookmooch.com (coolest thing ever for book junkies) was a CD. When I opened the package ("This guy's really generous - UPS express??") the CD dropped out with a cool caricatured namecard taped across. When I opened the sleeve, I found this non-descript looking CD.

Hmm...to be on the safe side I went to google on "Rob Crowe Situation" before I pop the CD into the laptop just in case the CD crashes laptop with some virus (you can't be too sure! My mother taught me never to just take things from strangers :p) and found them on myspace. Ok, so it is a genuine band who are selling their songs on ITunes as well. And I am getting a free CD with 20 tracks :D Though it's something that was different from what I usually listen to, but they remind me of Everything But The Girl..something good for some laid back moments and not too jarring.

Only thing is..the tracks doesn't come with any track names. So even if I tell you that this is this really nice track 10, I don't really think think I can feature it somehow, though Rob Crowe Situation is on myspace and ITune too (when are they ever going to have ITunes in SG??)

Popped the CD into the laptop and dropped an acknowledgement receipt of the book on bookmooch to the moochee, and of course thanked him for the CD :))

I wonder if I should go see the band perform when I go to NYC...

Tired Tired..

I hate to whine, but I am really super tired now. Two back to back games are really no joke. Have been stretching almost everyday for the past week to make sure that the back don't act up. Thankfully it hasn't. But still, when you are unfit you are only good for one tackle.

I donno which hurts more - the legs (which totally felt like mine with the scale of pain they are sending through my neuro system) or the ego.

So glad that I took one day off tomorrow. But looking at my schedule, I am kicking myself for planning to run so many errands on my leave.