10 years

Had a birthday dinner with the family today, as an early celebration for the youngest one ahead of the actual day. There is a good 10 years between me and her, which saw us at different life stages at any one point in time.

As I was looking at the birthday cake with enough candles signaling her 23 years, it suddenly hit me that it had been 10 years since I was that age. I mean, I know. Obviously no matter how many years have passed, the fact was that it was still going to be 10 years ago that I was her age.

But at her age this time of the year, I was already in Kuala Lumpur Mid Valley Hotel,

• having gone through the trauma of a broken metacarpal on National Day (almost 1 month ago) in New Dehli,
• being told by the doctor that I was never going to make it in time for the SEA Games ("You will have a chance in future to play. Let it heal naturally!" he said),
• stubbornly refused to heed his advice and went for the surgery to put in the metal plate anyway; went through repeated rehab and physiotherapy sessions, putting in that extra training so that the left hand can still hold the stick, and
• getting ready for the first day of the Games in 3 days' time.

And 2 days later, on the night before the first game, we all (the team mates) would be running around from room to room, trying to figure out the extent of what we would see on TV - 2 planes which flew right into the World Trade Center in New York, and looking at the live footage of one of the towers crumbling like a sandcastle.

And the next day we played our first game against Thailand.

Since then, hockey wasn't one of the sports in the Games until 2007, which was after I stopped playing around 2005. And if I hadn't gone for the surgery then, I wouldn't have played that Games.

It has been 10 years. Where have all the years gone to?

I remembered after the Games, I knew I was going to join the police force. I was with somebody then which I thought I might just be with at the end of the day. No thanks to a timely reminder, I also remembered that I thought then I had all the time in the world.

And now, it has been almost one and a half year that I had touched the hockey stick. I had left the force for a myriad of reasons. I had been through upheavals in the relationship department (and hopefully had grown wiser and more discerning). Most days pass so fast that they merge to become a blur and I cannot differentiate one day from the next. Mostly, I feel like I am running out of time to do all the things that I wanted to do.

Amazing how life meanders and brings you through different stages, deriving experiences and meanings that makes up your life story. Let's see how the next 10 years will unfold then.