The Lost Self

“你想要什么？”

“我..”

“先慢慢静下来，才能听到自己的心，真的想要的 是什么。”

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The ever independent Jz told me once, she wouldn't grow to be as such if she didn't need to. And she's not the only one.

At every stage of one's life, with every lesson learnt, what doesn't kills you, makes you stronger.

Some people grow wiser, some people grow more independent, some people grow warier. Losing of the innocence of youth as we put it, and learnt that the world is not as kind as how we see it when we were younger.

And growing that outer layers of protection all in the name of self preservation, cocooning from all the possible harms from the outside world - feeling all warm and fuzzy inside, resisting any attempts to remove the layer since it will only cause the unbalance of the otherwise status quo mini-universe, setting off all possible alarm bells in the process.

Until one day, you realise that you have been encumbered with all the weight and burden of the ever-growing armour all these times, and already forgetting how that person, who had lived and loved with such carefree enjoyment many years ago, looked like.

Introspectively, if its ever possible to go back in time to undo all those layers and be like that person again.... only time will tell.

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Sheesh, this post is so depressing. I need to go out and do something fun soon.